Barbarian Alien Read online

  Barbarian Alien

  Ruby Dixon

  Barbarian Alien

  Twelve humans are left stranded on a wintry alien planet. I’m one of them. Yay, me.

  In order to survive, we have to take on a symbiont that wants to rewire our bodies to live in this brutal place. I like to call it a cootie. And my cootie’s a jerk, because it also thinks I’m the mate to the biggest, surliest alien of the group.

  BARBARIAN ALIEN is a sequel to ICE PLANET BARBARIANS. You do not have to read both in order to understand the plot, but the story will be richer if you do!

  Barbarian Alien

  Part One: Divided

  Part Two: Broken

  Part Three: Asunder

  Part Four: Reborn

  Part Five: Claimed

  Part Six: Forever

  Barbarian Alien

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  Part One

  LIZ

  Kira and I watch as Megan and Georgie run their fingers along the panel of the alien ship's hull, trying to figure out how to pry it open and get out the girls enclosed inside. There are six capsules, and each one has another captive girl. Each girl inside has no idea of where she is or how she got here.

  "I can't decide if they're the lucky ones or the unlucky ones," I tell Kira.

  "Lucky," she says, her soft voice flat. Her gaze is fixed to the blinking lights and the dark wall of the hull. "They don't know what we've gone through for the last few weeks."

  I grunt a maybe sort of agreement. I don't know that I agree with Kira, but she can be a real Debbie downer at times. The last few weeks haven't exactly been a party for the rest of us, but maybe it's better to know everything than to be blind to it.

  I guess.

  Kira and I are watching the others work because we're too weak to actually help. Of the six of us, Georgie is the strongest still. She's been with the alien guy so she's been getting three squares a day and warm clothing. The rest of us have been stuck in the hull, and Megan is doing the best out of our small group. I'm weak and lethargic, and my toes hurt like mad. Josie has a leg that looks like it's broken in two spots, and no one knows how to fix it. Kira's ankle is swollen and she's super weak. Tiffany is possibly dying, since we can't wake her up out of the deep sleep she's in. She roused for a bit of broth and then fell unconscious again.

  We don't need a warning from the aliens that this planet is killing us. Big duh there.

  "It's opening," Megan says, and she and Georgie step back. The panel lifts from the wall with a hiss, just like in the sci fi movies. Inside is a girl in a t-shirt and panties, weird coils wrapped around her body and feeding into her throat.

  I shiver despite myself.

  Georgie and Megan study the sleeping girl, trying to figure out the best way to free her. Eventually, they just start ripping tubes and cords off of her and she wakes up and begins to gag. A moment later, the new girl is collapsed on the floor and vomiting up the last of the tubes as Megan strokes her back.

  Well, that did it. For better or for worse, we have another person.

  The girl begins to sob, her eyes wide. She's clearly confused and frightened, and Kira stands up, opening her arms to pull the girl to her. She makes quiet, soothing noises and enfolds the girl in a hug, helping her away from the wall. Without a single person touching them, the rest of the pods suddenly open.

  "Shit, I think we triggered something," Georgie says, and they get to work freeing the next girl. In moments, there are several more girls collapsing on the floor. I get to my feet as best I can, ready to help out.

  I limp forward, and as I do, I hear the sounds of the aliens talking. I look over even as the girl nearest to me begins to hysterically wail. "What's happening? Where am I? Who are you?"

  I offer her my hand. "I'm Liz and I'll explain when we get the others, okay?"

  She keeps wailing and I have to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from shouting at her. Look, I feel like shit and am probably a few steps behind Tiffany on the death ladder, but am I squealing and moaning? No, no I am not. I am sucking it the fuck up.

  I gather up a second new girl, this one with freckles and bright red hair, and as I do, Squealer starts to make horrified, choking cries. "Oh my God, what is that?" She points a trembling hand in the distance, and I slap it down.

  "It's not polite to point," I say, but the other girls are sucking in horrified breaths at the sight of the aliens lurking at the edge of the hull. Another begins to cry, and a third clings to my neck like she's going to climb me for safety. It's making my broken toes hurt like the dickens, and I look over at Georgie. "We have a situation," I tell her. "Do something, fearless leader."

  "Right," she says, and hurries over to the aliens. A moment later, they all climb back out of the rip in the hull and it's just us human girls.

  "Let's all go sit over here," Kira says, voice soothing. "We have a fire and water and blankets."

  "It's cold," whines one. "I'm so cold and I don't have any pants! Where are my pants?"

  "That's because the aliens took you while you were sleeping," I say brightly. "No one has any goddamn pants."

  Kira bats my arm with a slap, indicating I should shut up. Okay, so I'm not the most patient woman in the world. Sue me.

  "Blankets over there," I encourage, and it's more like herding cats – caterwauling, screeching cats – than baby ducklings, but we manage to get them around the fire and tucked under the blankets that the alien guys have provided.

  "I'm still cold," one says, teeth chattering, as she hugs the blanket to her.

  I just watch her and try not to judge. We didn't even have this much a week ago. Blankets and a fire and food? This is fucking luxury. But again, these girls have been in pods and don't know any better.

  "What now?" Kira asks. Why is she looking at me? I'm not the leader, Georgie is. But Georgie's off trying to convince the aliens to keep their scary faces away from us, so I guess I'm…Robin to her Batman? Something.

  So I take charge. "All right, kids, let's sit in a circle. We're going to do an introduction game like they do at corporate retreats. Any of you work in an office?" When two of the sniffling girls raise their hands, I nod. It's a start. "Then you'll know how this works. We go around the circle, give your name, your age, and what you do for a living. Then you list off three interesting things about yourself. It'll help us get to know each other."

  "Where are we?" one weeps.

  "We'll get to that," I say. "Soon. Now come on. Let's start with you." I turn to the freckled redhead at my side. She's handling the bizarre situation better than most, which is good. She's staring at me like I'm crazy, but that's okay.

  I'm pretty sure I'm crazy at this point, too. Heck, I'm trying to do a meet and greet on a crashed spaceship.

  But the girl at my side gives a sniff and scrubs her face, deciding to remain calm. "M-my name's Harlow, and I'm twenty two, and I'm going to college to be a veterinarian." She blinks for a minute, looking lost and forlorn.

  "Add some stuff about you."

  "I…hate shellfish?"

  Close enough. I point at the next girl.

  She's the sobber. She weeps and blubbers and her nose runs the entire time. Through a torrent of tears, we get out that she's Ariana, she's born in Jersey, and she's scared. Next to her is Claire, who has big brown eyes and looks frightened. Her voice is barely a whisper, but I don't force her to speak up. Then there's Nora, who looks fierce and pissed off. Marlene, who has a blank expression and a thick French accent, and Stacy, who's weeping but trying really hard not to. I give her props for that. As each person introduces themselves, it becomes obvious that they're all the same age.

  Then they get to me. I put a hand to my chest. "I'm Liz Cramer. I'm twenty tw
o, just like you guys. I was a data entry clerk in a small machine stamping office. I grew up in Oklahoma and I like hunting and shooting things with a bow. And three weeks ago, I was kidnapped by aliens."

  The girls gasp. Ariana sobs harder.

  "Way to ease them into it," Kira mutters.

  I ignore her. This'll be like ripping off a Band-Aid. Best to just get it all out there and let them process it. "Sit back, kids, because you are about to hear the shittiest campfire tale ever."

  And I start talking.

  I tell them about how, three weeks ago, I was taken by Little Green Men during the night. When I woke up, I was in a dark, dirty hold with a bunch of other women clad in nothing but their pajamas. That we were going to be sold off at some sort of interplanetary trade station, like cattle. That the aliens had six women stored in some sort of stasis pods in the hold, and me and my new best friends in the pen were the ‘extras’.

  From their gasps, I can tell they're starting to put things together. That's right, they were the real cargo. Me and Kira and the awake girls? Well…"You know, when you go to the grocery store for beer and chips are on sale and the next thing you know, you have a cart full of chips? Just call me Pringles."

  No one laughs at my joke. That's okay. I still find it funny. You gotta find humor in something. "Anyhow, it seems our alien buddies got greedy and were scooping up as many human women as they could squeeze into their space ship. There were nine of us originally."

  Eyes widen. Ariana starts sobbing again. I wish I had a sock because I'd stuff it in her mouth.

  "How do you know?" Nora accuses.

  "Know what?"

  "That they were going to sell you? Maybe they were taking you somewhere good?"

  Right, and I'm Casper the friendly fucking ghost. I point at Kira, who's frowning at me.

  "That's Kira. Kira’s the only one of us that has a translator. She was ‘lucky’ enough to be picked up first, so they stapled some device into her ear and now she can understand whatever the aliens say to her. That's how we found out what was going on – that we were going to be sold. With the translator, she was able to understand what the aliens were saying. That's how we knew they weren't taking us to Planet Malibu, where we can all sip margaritas and work on our tans."

  "Liz," Kira says softly. Nora flinches.

  I know I'm not being understanding. I know, and I'm not sure I care. "Here's the thing. Those aliens stole us from our homes. They tagged us like cattle." I point to the bump in my arm where there's a little metal object that I suspect works just like GPS. "And they're going to take us to a meat market and sell us like prize hogs to the highest bidder. And while some dudes fuck their hogs–"

  "Gross," mumbles someone.

  "–A lot of other guys just eat them," I finish. "So you'll forgive me if I'm not willing to cut our captors any slack. The Little Green Men were not nice. They had guards, and those guards raped several of the girls while we were captive. They kept us in a cage. They made us shit in a bucket. They treated us like less than human. So you need to know that, so you can understand where we're coming from when we're smelly and tired and hungry and sick. Okay?"

  The girls around me nod. Ariana starts crying again. "Someone's going to eat us?"

  "Not now," Kira soothes. She should be talking. She's the nice one. But she looks at me to keep explaining, and so I do.

  "Those aliens are gone. For now." I briefly explain our quick rebellion and how Georgie took out one of the guards, just as our cargo hold was dumped planetside. Now we’re residents of Not-Hoth, as we’ve come to name the place. It’s cold as hell, snow-covered, and completely inhospitable.

  Our landing was pretty fucking rough. No one came out unscathed – two girls died. So did three of my toes, which left me incapable of walking further than a few feet. But at least I was alive. "Once we’d assessed our injuries, Georgie – our bravest girl and the least injured – headed out in the only piece of warm clothing we had, looking for help. The rest of us got to stay behind and freeze. Did I mention the rest of us were in our pajamas? Not exactly warm."

  The girl next to me – Harlow – looks ashamed and offers me her blanket. I shake my head. I'm too tired to bother. And weirdly enough, I'm used to freezing my ass off. This is new to her, so she can keep it.

  This last week was a week of huddling into a pile with filthy, miserable, injured women for warmth. It was a week of ignoring each other’s smells, abject terror every time there was a sound outside the half-broken hull of the ship, and wondering what was going to happen to us next. Our hair was filthy, our pits stank, and our poop bucket overflowed. But we had no shoes and barely any clothing, so it wasn’t like we could just saunter outside and clean up. Because outside it was one constant blizzard. We were trapped. Trapped, and our food and water supplies were dwindling. I fight back the memories.

  Every night, I fell to sleep wondering if I'd live to see the next day.

  "Georgie went off to get help," Kira prompts when I'm silent for too long.

  I nod, picking up the story again. "Georgie came back after a few days, with a big blue hulking barbarian with horns, a tail, and glowing blue eyes. His name is Vektal, and he's one of the locals."

  I skip the part where Georgie was clearly shacking up with Vektal. I mean, the guy came with food and blankets, so I didn't care if she was giving the Incredible Hulk hand-jobs on the side as long as he took care of us.

  "They left us with some supplies and went to get reinforcements for our rescue," I say. "Those are the demon guys outside."

  A few faces brighten. "So they're nice?"

  "They're conditionally nice." I wonder how much I should tell them.

  Because our story is pretty fucking grim and there's not a lot of choices to be had.

  Not-Hoth, it turns out, isn’t a hospitable planet. In addition to being cold as heck and full of monsters that want to have us for dinner, our new home also some sort of poisonous gas that’s going to kill us slowly. It's already working hard on us. Tiffany's comatose off in the corner, and I'm so exhausted I can barely raise my head. Right now? I just want to fall over and sleep. And it's going to get worse. This element in the air is going to kill us, because we don't belong here.

  But there's a fix. Sort of.

  The ‘cure' for the death sentence on this planet? A symbiont that the natives call a khui and we humans call a ‘cootie’.

  To live? We're supposed to get…infected. Now, I admit that I've been pretty gung-ho about a rescue here. I'm the chipper one to Kira's glass is half empty. But I am royally wigged out at the thought of getting some sort of bug to live inside me.

  The cootie sounds like it’s the answer to our problems, except there’s a catch, Georgie has told us.

  Because the cootie is interested in propagating species. So when it sees two people that it thinks should be good mates and will make a perfect baby together? There’s something called ‘resonance’ that happens. The cootie starts vibrating in your chest whenever you’re near your new ‘mate’ and it won’t stop until the baby-making happens. And Vektal’s tribe of seven-foot tall blue, horned aliens? They’ve only got four females.

  If we stay, we’re getting more than a rescue. We’re getting husbands. Georgie's already been claimed by Vektal, and she's pretty happy about it from what I can tell. They can't keep their eyes off each other.

  But not only are we getting a cootie, we're getting a man. And we don't even get to pick the man. I'm not sure how I feel about this. So when I say that the guys are ‘conditionally nice', it's true. They're nice because they want someone to put their baby batter into.

  "They're nice," I say again, a tight smile on my face. "And now I'm really tired." I ignore Kira's concerned look and this time, when someone offers me a blanket, I take it and curl up.

  "What's wrong with her?" Someone asks. "She looks like hell."

  I'm sick, not deaf, I think crankily. But all that talking made me tired and I decide to let Kira answer.

 
"She's got the sickness," Kira explains in her soft voice. "We'll all get it unless we get the symbiont."

  "Is that why she's so mean?" One of them – Claire, maybe – whispers.

  Am I mean? Impatient, maybe. Tired, definitely. And sick. I just huddle down in the blankets. I can't even smell the hold anymore. I can't even feel the cold. I'm just…tired. So tired.

  "She's having a bad day," I hear Kira say. "Give her time."

  It's true. I am having a bad day. To think that despite being kidnapped by aliens and living in a smelly, freezing, broken cargo hold for the last week wearing nothing but a short nightgown…I can have a day worse than that? Why yes, yes I can.

  The reason for my bad day shows up a moment later. He saunters over to me, where I'm trying to make myself small and invisible under the furs. He ignores the frightened cries of the other women and more or less storms over to my side. Then, he rips back the furs and thrusts a cup of something steaming under my nose.

  He says nothing, just waits.

  "Go away," I tell him crankily, and try to tug my blankets back.

  The alien won't let me have them. Instead, he pulls them further away, out of my reach. He then pushes the cup under my nose again. It's obvious that if I want my blanket back, I'm going to have to drink that cup of steaming hell he keeps putting under my nose.

  He's such a dick.

  I take the cup from his hand and glare at him, then try to offer it to one of the nearby girls. "Anyone thirsty?"

  He grabs my hand and guides it back toward me with a small grunt, indicating that the drink is for me and only me.

  "Who's that?" one of the new girls whispers in a tiny, frightened voice.

  "Part of the rescue," I say drily. "The pushy, asshole part." I lift the cup to my nose and sniff it. It smells meaty and like some sort of plant. It also smells like a dirty sock. And there's something peppery in it that makes my eyes water. "I don't want this." I try to push it away. My stomach has shrunken in the last week due to starvation, and the thought of downing this makes me want to puke.