When She Belongs: A SciFi Alien Romance (A Risdaverse Tale Book 4) Read online

  When She Belongs

  A Risdaverse Tale

  Ruby Dixon

  Copyright © 2020 by Ruby Dixon

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  Cover Design: Kati Wilde

  Cover Photo: DepositPhotos.com

  Edits: Aquila Editing

  Mistakes: All mine!

  Created with Vellum

  Contents

  When She Belongs

  Trigger/Content Warnings for Readers

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Chapter 39

  Chapter 40

  Chapter 41

  Chapter 42

  Chapter 43

  Chapter 44

  Chapter 45

  Chapter 46

  Chapter 47

  Chapter 48

  Chapter 49

  Chapter 50

  Chapter 51

  Chapter 52

  Chapter 53

  Chapter 54

  Chapter 55

  Chapter 56

  Chapter 57

  Chapter 58

  Chapter 59

  Chapter 60

  Chapter 61

  Chapter 62

  Chapter 63

  Chapter 64

  Chapter 65

  Chapter 66

  Chapter 67

  Chapter 68

  Chapter 69

  Chapter 70

  Chapter 71

  Chapter 72

  Chapter 73

  Chapter 74

  Chapter 75

  Chapter 76

  Chapter 77

  Chapter 78

  Chapter 79

  Chapter 80

  Chapter 81

  Chapter 82

  Chapter 83

  Chapter 84

  Chapter 85

  Chapter 86

  Chapter 87

  Epilogue

  Author’s Note

  Want More To Read?

  When She Belongs

  He’s the biggest jerk in the galaxy.

  I can live with being stuck on the far end of space. I can live with having to spend weeks on an abandoned station in an asteroid belt. Sure, I don’t belong, but I’ve got my book and my eight-legged attack cat with me. I should be fine.

  I’m not fine.

  My alien host, Jerrok, is a jerk. He’s surly and unpleasant. He hasn’t bathed in years. He’s part cyborg - and all those parts seem to be falling to pieces. He’s the one in charge of this remote station, which means we’re forced to interact. It’s an absolutely miserable situation for both of us…

  …until I realize that all his anger and bluster is covering the fact that he’s thoughtful and understanding. He’s protective, too, keeping me safe when the bad guys approach. When I get hurt, he’s the one tenderly caring for my wounds.

  Jerrok is also intensely, utterly lonely, just like me.

  As time passes, I start to wonder…maybe where I belong isn’t a place…but a person.

  Trigger/Content Warnings for Readers

  Hello there!

  I’m trying to get better at warning readers of content that might trigger intrusive thinking so you can be better prepared if you wish to read. That being said, this book includes the following situations:

  — The heroine is a former slave. There is no on-screen sexual assault but she references her past in multiple scenes and it affects how she approaches sex.

  — The hero is a war veteran and suffers from PTSD. References to his past include mentions of wartime captivity and torture.

  — There are a few action-y scenes involving violence and characters getting attacked toward the climax of the story.

  That being said, it sounds TERRIBLY TERRIBLY dark when it’s all listed out like that, but I promise it truly isn’t a dark story. Both characters are strong survivors and handle their trauma in the way you’d expect, but overall the story is, I hope, one about people thriving in a world full of adversity. If you’re not sure if this is the story for you, give the sample a try or read the reviews to see what other readers thought.

  Thank you! <3

  Ruby

  1

  SOPHIE

  I never thought of myself as a particularly slow learner until I encountered alien technology. I stare at the sea of buttons and touch-pads in front of my chair on the bridge of the Little Sister, trying to recall my lessons.

  “Can you pull up next to the ship?” Mathiras asks in a tense voice. He grabs his blaster and heads for the hatch, down the hall where the Sister will connect with the ship the pirate crew is currently trying to board and take over.

  Emphasis on “trying.”

  Kaspar jumps out of his seat, all eagerness and ready to help his brother with the invasion, but he pauses, waiting. He’s stuck with navigator duties, which means he doesn’t get to run in, blasters blazing. He looks over at me, waiting. If I can handle the nav stuff like their sister Zoey once did, he can join his brother. We both watch as Adiron follows after Mathiras, and then it’s just me and Kaspar on the bridge.

  “Sure, no problem,” I lie. “Piece of cake.” I stare at the endless buttons, trying to remember which sequence produces the anti-grav hooks that will sink into the hull of the other ship and pull us against it. It would help if I knew the mesakkah language, but it’s all foreign to me. I tap one flashing red button experimentally and nothing happens. Fuck. Okay, that isn’t it. I look for another, maybe something with a latching sort of symbol?

  It only makes me feel worse to think about how many times they’ve patiently showed me the controls, over and over again. I pull out my datapad, flipping through the notes I’ve taken, but there’s so many of them that I’m not sure where this particular one is buried, and that only adds to my stress.

  “Sophie?” Mathiras calls through the comm channel. His voice is tight. “Are we pulling up next to the enemy ship or not?”

  My mind blanks out. I don’t even remember how to get into the comm to reply. I fight back a whimper and stare hard at the boards in front of me, all lit up and looking equally important. Maybe inspiration will strike and I’ll suddenly remember.

  Kaspar mutters something under his breath and dives into my station, pulling the panel toward him. I scrunch as low as I can in my seat, getting out of his way, and he taps at keys that look vaguely familiar. Right. That’s the sequence. There’s a low whirring sound and then an angry jolt of the Little Sister a
s we lock onto the larger ship we’re cruising next to. The big blue alien doesn’t even look over at me as he flips a switch and speaks into the comm. “We’re hooked. Heading your way for boarding.”

  “I’m sorry,” I whisper, feeling completely out of my depths.

  “You’ll get it,” he says, patting my shoulder absently. He moves back to his seat, shoves his blasters into his belt, and then bounds down the hall to join his brothers.

  Then I’m alone on the bridge. I gaze around me at all the alien controls, wishing I could pick this up faster. Wishing that I didn’t feel like such a failure. Wishing that I felt like I belonged here, on the Little Sister. The va Sithai brothers have been nothing but kind, but I suspect they’re frustrated with how slowly I’m learning. Zoey picked things up quickly, I’ve been told. Zoey took to the controls like she was born to them. Zoey’s sharp and clever and has a wicked sense of humor.

  And…I’m not Zoey. I don’t have a ten-year (or more) relationship with these men. I’ve been here a few months and they’ve patiently showed me the ropes—or tried to. Every day that I don’t carry my weight around here, I feel it more and more. I’m waiting for the day that they get sick of me. For when they get tired of having a human parasite hanging around and eating their food and not contributing. No matter how nice they are, there’s always the worry that they’re going to get rid of me.

  The universe has taught me a lot over the last six years, but more than anything, it’s taught me that humans don’t belong in alien societies.

  It doesn’t matter that we’re dragged, kicking and screaming, from our homes. It doesn’t matter that we don’t want to be here. Once we’re here, there’s no going back, and there’s no place that feels warm and welcoming. I hoped things would be different if I could learn to be crew here on the Little Sister. If I could pull my weight, earn a salary, contribute to the efforts of the others…

  But it’s becoming more and more obvious to me that I can’t. And if I can’t, I don’t know what I’ll do.

  I think of the offer Kim gave me months ago, to stay at her farm, to be her tenant. It was a kind offer, but her husband’s praxiian, and my last owner was praxiian. I’ve never hated cats more than I do right now, and I’m not sure I could be around her—or her mate—without losing my mind. At least the va Sithai brothers are mesakkah. They’re blue and horned and look a bit more like a cross between a Smurf and a devil…but they’re not praxiian, so being around them doesn’t trigger me.

  They’re also very uninterested in me sexually. In a way, that’s both good and bad. If I was spreading my legs for the crew, I’d at least feel like I was earning my keep. But they’ve firmly put me into “little sister” territory…or at least “annoying cousin.” They’ve made it quite clear that they’re not interested in that way, which was nice. Sometimes I wish it was different because that’d be easier, but this is what I wanted.

  I wanted to earn my keep in a way that doesn’t involve me being on my back.

  I just didn’t expect to suck at being a normal employee.

  I fight back feelings of panic, hugging my knees as the ship rocks back and forth, the boarded vessel trying to shake free from the anti-grav clamps that are supposed to be illegal. Since I’ve been with the crew, they’ve done this six or seven times, each time no less terrifying as the Little Sister sways in space and the sounds of distant explosions kick up. It sounds nightmarish, but the crew has this handled. Minutes pass as I wait for things to die down.

  “We’ve got a runner,” Adiron calls over the comm band. “Be on the lookout, Soph!”

  Okay, maybe they don’t have this handled. I head to the armory closet and grab the small blaster that’s tooled for my fingerprints and turn it on. It hums in my hand and I hold it tight, then creep toward the docking tunnel that connects us to the other ship like an enormous umbilical cord.

  Someone’s coming through it.

  I see movement and green skin, and the prominent, froglike eyes of the ooli. This one’s bigger than most, bulky and wearing heavy-looking clothing that might pass for armor. He’s got a blaster in his hands and paces quickly through the tunnel, heading right for me.

  I swallow hard, holding up my gun. I can do this. I can. I know in a life of piracy, shit happens. The people we’re stealing from are bad guys, drug runners and thieves and slavers. I shouldn’t feel bad killing this monster.

  I hold my blaster up. All I have to do is shoot.

  My hand trembles and sweats, and my finger moves to the trigger.

  The alien moves faster. He sees me now, and his pace picks up. I’m a human, and in his eyes, helpless garbage. I’m little more than a trained fuck-toy. He’s not afraid of me, even though I hold a gun, and I’m desperate to prove him wrong. Just one shot, and he’ll take me seriously. One shot, and I can prove my worth to the crew.

  One shot and I’ll kill another sentient being.

  The alien—the ooli—locks eyes with me and my arm shakes with a mixture of terror and dismay.

  I…I can’t do this.

  Oh fuck, I can’t do this.

  I make a squeaking sound in my throat as the ooli marches right toward me and snatches the gun out of my grip. “Looks like the pirates have a pet,” he croaks at me and the look on his face turns to one of pure evil. “They’re not going to like what I do to you.”

  I tremble, frozen in place. “Get away from me.”

  He makes a strange, growling sound in his throat. “I’m going to kef you up—”

  From behind the alien, a muscular, blue arm appears around the frog-man’s throat. I watch, unable to move, as Adiron puts his blaster to the ooli’s head and fires. There’s a splatter of green liquid on the walls of the ship and the scent of cooked meat, and I want to vomit.

  “I’m starting to think you’re not cut out for this lifestyle, little one,” Adiron teases, a wild grin on his broad face.

  I’m starting to think he’s right.

  2

  SOPHIE

  I scrub at the walls of the Little Sister, cleaning blood and ooli goo off of computer panels. All’s quiet on the other side. We’re still docked with the other ship, hours later, but the fighting is done. The other crew—slavers and cutthroats returning from a prison rendezvous—have all been disposed of. It should bother me, knowing that people on the other ship just got killed by my friends, but I’ve grown surprisingly jaded about some things.

  There are no good guys on this end of the universe. Everyone’s out for himself, even the va Sithai brothers.

  So I clean the walls of the ship, try not to think about where the green goo was before, and listen to the brothers chitchat over the comm. It seems that we’ve caught this particular band returning from some place called Haven where they dropped off some drugs. There’s no cargo to be found, just a lot of traceless credits, and the brothers joke about that even as they strip expensive parts out of the enemy ship. This feels routine. I know from past experiences, they’ll cobble what they can from the other vessel for salvage or re-sale, and then the other ship will be scuttled, abandoned and her computer disabled, and it’ll disappear into deep space. Problem solved.

  It’s normal. All of this is normal, I tell myself as I scrub.

  I try to forget that I totally choked.

  I try to forget the awful, awful look on the ooli’s face. His terrible words. “I’m going to kef you up.” I know he wouldn’t have been kind to me. I know if the tables were turned, I’d probably find myself servicing an entire pirate ship instead of just cleaning one. I’d be enslaved again, forced to suck alien dick for my meals. Again. It’s not an existence I want to return to. Being part of the pirate crew is a thousand times better.

  I just…need to actually be part of the crew.

  I wring out the sponge in my hands and apply fresh water and cleaner to the walls. The smell is acrid and not unlike cat piss, which amuses Adiron to no end. He doesn’t understand why I can’t stand the stink of cleaner and loves to joke about it. Actu
ally, he just loves to joke, period. He’s a good guy and a good friend.

  But he’s also got a big mouth, and I know he’s going to tell his brothers all about how I couldn’t pull the trigger. How I froze up instead of taking action to save my own damn life.

  And Kaspar and Mathiras are nice enough, but something tells me they won’t understand. They’re going to start thinking I’m a liability. I don’t know what will happen to me if they do. I breathe through my mouth, thinking hard. Is it…is it time for me to seduce one of the brothers? To use my body to try and ensure my place here?

  Not that this feels like home. I feel isolated and alone here as much as I have anywhere else, but the meals are decent and no one’s forcing me to sleep with them, which makes it the best place I’ve lived in six long, long years.