Bridget's Bane: A SciFi Alien Romance Read online

  "Are you hurt?" I try again. I will not make words at her if she is in pain. I need to get her to the healer.

  "I'm not asking for help," B'shit says defensively. "I'll be fine. I just need a little time."

  She is so stubborn. I grit my teeth, frustrated with her. Why, if she is hurt, will she not ask for help? Why is she like this? I straighten, testing my foot against the edge of the pit. The snow crumbles underneath my boot, sending a rain of wet clumps down upon B'shit below. She sputters in outrage, but does not get up.

  That is an answer, too, I realize. I hop down into the pit next to her, and when she gasps in surprise, I grin.

  "What are you doing?" she asks, gaping at me.

  "You will not come up, so I will come down to you."

  B'shit blinks rapidly. She gazes up at me with such sad eyes that it makes my heart hurt, and then fresh tears spill down her cheeks. "You can just leave me behind," she weeps. "I don't want to be a bother."

  "Hush," I say gently. Inside, I am gleeful. D'see was right. B'shit is not yelling at me now that I have told her how beautiful she is. Clearly this plan works. I kneel beside my mate and brush the tears off her cheeks with my fingers. "Do not weep. A'tam is here and everything will be all right now."

  "Now you're in the pit with me," she sniffs, but she does not push away my touch.

  "The snow is loose near the top," I tell her in a gentle voice. "I will dig a path out so we can walk together. And if it takes until morning, we can share warmth until the sunrise."

  B'shit sniffs again.

  I stroke my fingers over her soft cheek. She is cold, I realize, and I take my cloak off and bundle it around her. "Are you hurt? Hungry? Thirsty?"

  "I'm okay." Her voice is wobbly and soft. "You don't have to do this. Just…please…" She trails off, her expression utterly frustrated and sad.

  "Please what?"

  "Nothing," she says quickly. "Thank you, A'tam. For not leaving me." She grabs my hand in hers and squeezes it, and it feels as if I have won, even if no special knife is to be mine. That is all right. All I want is B'shit, and this day, I feel I am one step closer to having her in my furs once more.

  I rest my spear against the opposite wall and get to work. With my claws, it is easy to dig through the snow. I pick the side of the pit farthest from B'shit, who still will not admit if she is in pain. I start digging, and while it will take a little time, it will be easy enough to dig a shallow path that will lead us back up to the surface. B'shit is very quiet behind me, and I glance backward to make sure she has not somehow escaped me. "You are still back there?"

  Her chuckle is reluctant. "Where else would I go?"

  "Away from me," I tease.

  "I wish," she says, but there is no fire behind her words, no anger. She is silent for a moment longer, and then asks, "Where is Daisy?"

  "She is now O'jek's partner," I say. "I told him I was coming back for you and that we should switch partners."

  "Oh. I bet he was happy."

  "He was. I already had two hoppers."

  "He didn't much like me as a partner," B'shit confesses. "I guess I'm not a great huntress."

  I shrug. "You will be in time. And you will be far better at cooking than D'see will be. I do not think she has ever cooked anything." B'shit gives another watery giggle and then sucks in a breath as if in pain. I stop, turning to face her. "Are you all right?"

  "Just…muscles in my back being shitty," she admits with a grimace. "I landed badly."

  "Is that why you are still down here?"

  "Among other things." She gestures at her leg. "My ankle isn't great either." B'shit thinks for a moment and then immediately adds, "Was Daisy very mad that you abandoned her?"

  I shrug. "I do not think she will be." She has been encouraging me to talk to B'shit. There is no better time than now. "She does not mind spending time with O'jek."

  "Yeah, but O'jek is a poor substitute for you." When I glance back at her, she shrugs. "It's true. If she's in love with you and sharing your furs, she's not going to want to settle for O'jek."

  Do I tell her that D'see is not sharing my furs? That I sleep next to O'jek? I do not know…and D'see's advice is working. I do not want to ruin the progress I have made with her, so I grunt as an answer. Maybe I should compliment her again. Tell her that I think her eyes are bright and I like her smile. "I…think you have a fine smile."

  "So, what, is this your thing now? You're going to go around and collect women like Pokémon? Now that you have Daisy, you're back to me again?" There is hurt in her tone. "No thank you."

  "I am here, am I not?"

  "I didn't ask you to be!"

  My hands feel like blocks of ice after digging through the snow. I pause to let the blood rush through them again, curling and uncurling my claws, and I glare at her. "You are hurt. I am here to help you. Why are you being so impossible?"

  B'shit opens her mouth. Closes it again. Frowns. She drops her gaze and stares at the fur I gave her, tucked under her chin to keep her warm as I work to rescue her. "I guess I am."

  Is…this a trick? I want to ask, but I do not dare. I try to think of an answer, and settle upon, "I like that you are full of fire, B'shit. But fire can burn if it is not controlled."

  "Well, that sounded deep."

  I chuckle and turn back to my work. "It was not meant to. I just…sometimes I am tired of getting burned."

  "Me too," B'shit says in a small voice.

  18

  BRIDGET

  This has been a rollercoaster of a day. After crying in the pit for what felt like hours, A'tam shows up to my rescue, compliments me, and carries me back to camp? One would almost think we haven't been at each other's throats for the last few months.

  I worry he has an ulterior motive. More than that, I worry that I'm giving him ammo to use against me, things to throw in my face and humiliate me. Now when we fight, is he going to fling the whole "I carried you back to camp" thing in my face?

  Yes, absolutely, says a voice inside my head, and it sounds like my mother.

  Even so, I'm still…grateful. I know I shouldn't be. I know this is a charged situation and A'tam's going to use it against me, but I was feeling so stupidly low lying at the bottom of that pit, too stubborn to ask for help. I'd cried until I couldn't cry any longer, and then he showed up.

  He abandoned gorgeous, pretty, flirty Daisy…for me.

  Surely that counts for something.

  A'tam didn't deny Daisy's sharing furs with him, which makes me feel…awful. I've made it pretty clear that he and I are done, so I shouldn't care, but the thought of A'tam kissing Daisy, snuggling Daisy…it makes me want to punch things. The thought of A'tam snuggling anyone but me just fills me with rage and tears.

  Which is stupid, because…monster dick. Tiny vaj.

  But…maybe it could work. Maybe he could just stick the tip in next time. Maybe if we talked…but that's just wishful thinking. I know me, and I know I won't talk about my problems. I'll crack some joke to ease tensions and pretend like nothing's wrong, and hold all my hurts inside so no one can use them against me. That's what my mother taught me for 23 years and it's served me well enough so far.

  And he's got Daisy in his bed now. I need to get over this. It’s not like we’re compatible anyhow. He’s got a Great Dane in his pants and I’m a teacup breed.

  A'tam hefts me on his back, adjusting my weight, and my muscles scream a protest. I suck in a breath, and underneath me, A'tam tenses. "This hurts you?"

  "I'll survive," I say, squeezing my eyes shut. And I will. It won't hurt me enough to kill me, but it's going to be an unpleasant walk back to camp. We're at least an hour out, if I know the trails decently, maybe two, and I grimly clench my hands into fists, trying to ignore the worst of the pain. "My back's always been stupid. I had a bad softball injury when I was in high school. I had to get a couple of screws put in my spine and ever since if I land wrong, it acts up. It'll be good in a day or two."

  "I do not like hu
rting you," A'tam says, scanning the horizon. "There is a supply cave a short distance from here. We can stay there tonight."

  I weigh my options. Two hours of torturous pain as A'tam carries me back to camp, but the healer will fix me up. Or…a short trip, pain overnight, and people teasing me about being out with A'tam all night.

  Since I'm me, I pick the option that won't give people anything to use against me. "Let's go back to camp. I can take it."

  He growls low in his throat, looking over his shoulder at me. "Why are you so stubborn? You are like the head of a little kaari, biting and biting, your teeth locked on."

  "Shut up," I snipe back. "You asked me, and I told you what I want to do."

  "I am deciding," A'tam says, and veers in a different direction. "We are going to the supply cave this night."

  It's on the tip of my tongue to protest, but the angry muscles in my back send a fresh wave of pain through my body and I gasp, clinging to him. I can't even argue, I'm hurting too much. Okay, maybe he was right after all. I press my face against the crook of his neck, breathing deep of his scent. "Thank you," I mumble.

  "Just hold on, little kaari," he murmurs. "I will take care of you."

  I'm utterly relieved when, a short-but-feels-endless time later we get to the cave. A'tam helps me off his back and I lean against a rock, hunched over, as he makes a fire in the cave. The twin suns are disappearing, the skies turning dark and cold, and I'm glad we're here instead of still heading toward camp. I don't think I could take much more.

  "Here," A'tam says, offering me his arm to lean on. "Come and lie down by the fire. I will take care of you."

  "I don't need help," I protest, but my back feels like one big cramp, and I end up leaning on him anyhow. It feels good to collapse in the pile of furs he has next to the cheery fire, and I sigh with relief. I stretch out on my side, closing my eyes. Being in pain is utterly exhausting, and yet I can't stop worrying that I'm showing weakness. Is he going to tell the others in Shadow Cat about how he got me alone and how I whined and cried? Is he going to make a fool out of me in front of the others? Will he throw this in my face the next time we argue?

  I feel very tired, suddenly, and little of it has to do with pain. I'm just tired of having to constantly be on guard around A'tam. I'm tired of being his enemy when all I wanted was to be…his.

  "Tell me if I hurt you," A'tam says in a low voice, and in the next moment, I feel his hands on the laces of my boots. The thick, reinforced leather is damp from trekking through the snows, and I know I should take them off myself. No weakness, my mother reminds me, but when A'tam's warm fingers skate over my good ankle, I'm an utter puddle. I bite back a moan, because it feels so good to be touched like that.

  "You shouldn't," I protest weakly.

  "Why?"

  "Because…you're the tired one," I say, even as he pulls my boot off and places it near the fire so it can dry. "You carried me."

  He snorts, his fingers moving over my skin. He rubs my foot, teasing warmth back into cold toes, and then moves to my other boot. "I could carry you for the entire night and it would not be heavy, little kaari."

  Oddly enough, I prefer that weird little nickname to “B'shit” or “Bree-shit,” which just gets under my skin every damn time. "You don't have to rub my feet."

  "I am seeing if you have broken bones," he says, as if it is the most logical thing ever. "Your foot is not swollen, from what I can tell."

  "That's good, right?"

  "Very good." His fingers caress my foot oh-so-gently. "Does this hurt?"

  I bite my lip. It feels amazing. I don't want to tell him that, though, because he'll smirk and brag and bring it up when we fight again. But oh god, does it feel good. "I appreciate you looking out for me," I say instead. That sounds neutral. Benign.

  He rumbles with amusement, his fingers gliding up to my calf. "Why would I not?"

  "Because we're not together?"

  A'tam says nothing to that. He just keeps rubbing my foot, and I wince when he touches a sore spot. Overall, though, it seems to be all right. Maybe it's just like my back, and I pulled a muscle somewhere. It needs to rest and ice…and luckily we have a lot of ice. A whole damn planet-full of ice.

  He carefully sets my foot back down on the furs and reaches for the hem of my tunic next.

  Maybe I'm drowsy from the foot rub, but it takes me a moment to realize what he's up to. I let out a yelp of surprise and grab the hem before he can push it up. "W-what are you doing?"

  "You enjoyed my foot rub, yes? It helped your ankle?" He lifts his chin, indicating my body. "I will do the same for your back."

  "Well you can't just strip me naked!" I clutch the hem, defiant. "Save that for Daisy!"

  "You hyoo-mans and your strange ways." A'tam chuckles. "I am not going to grab at your teats. I am going to rub your back and help you. Do you not want me to help?"

  I give him a wary look, considering. A back rub would help but…this is A'tam. He totally thinks with his dick. I know him well enough to know that it's totally up his alley to make it a back rub that turns into more. That is absolutely something he would do. "No funny business."

  "I do not find your injuries funny."

  He's been good to me today. And he absolutely deserves for me to trust him, just a little. I hesitate for only a moment longer before nodding. "Turn around while I undress. When I'm ready, I'll let you know."

  A'tam gives me a look as if I'm being unreasonable, but does as I ask. I not-so-quickly pull my tunic over my head, wincing as my muscles clench up painfully. By the time I lie down on my stomach, I'm panting through gritted teeth, my back feeling like one big awful knot. "I'm good now."

  "Speak if I do something that gives you more pain," A'tam says in a low voice. Then, his big hands are on my skin and he begins to rub.

  I tell myself that I'm going to remain perfectly still. That I'm not going to be affected by this gorgeous man looming over me, rubbing my muscles and trying to make me feel good. That he'd do this for Daisy, or anyone else. That the best thing I can do is look completely and utterly unaffected.

  This lasts for all of ten seconds before he kneads the sensitive skin at the base of my neck and I moan in bliss.

  "Am I hurting you?" he asks, but I can hear the amusement in his voice.

  "You know you're not," I tell him in a drowsy, blissed-out tone. "Don't even pretend."

  He chuckles, and his hands sweep up and down my back, adding just enough pressure to gently work through tight muscles. "You have bruises," he murmurs as his fingers glide over my skin. "I do not like this. I am going to speak with O'jek when I return."

  "Please don't. It's not his fault I fell."

  "It is. He knows you are fragile. He should have paid more attention to you." He pauses for a moment, then continues in a lower voice. "He knows what you mean to me."

  Just like that, I know this is no simple back rub. Because I know what A'tam thinks of me, too. I know he's determined to make me “his” in some way, even though I've made it quite clear that we're done. And yet…this is the part I struggle with, the part I can't seem to move on from. I like being with him. I like his brash, boyish charm and how he thinks his shit doesn't stink. I like that he rarely takes anything too seriously.

  He's almost the perfect man, and I guess that's why I have a hard time establishing boundaries between us. Or rather…I establish the boundaries and A'tam crashes right over them, and I let him.

  Like right now.

  I absolutely should have left my tunic on. I absolutely should have declined a back rub. I absolutely should have gritted my teeth and stuck it out, returning to camp tonight.

  I'm weak when it comes to A'tam, though.

  I try to focus on a distraction. On conversation. I clench my hands in the furs and bite back another moan as his hands glide down my back in an utterly delicious movement. "So…you and Daisy." Oh god, his hands are fucking magic. Of course they are. It's a cruel trick of fate that everything about A'tam is magi
c except for his, well, wand. "You were having a good…run of hunting?"

  "Mmm." His hands glide over my hips in a way that makes my eyes nearly roll back in my head. "Two fat hoppers. I could have caught more, though. The trails were everywhere." A'tam chuckles. "So many hoppers playing out in the snow after bad weather. I imagine they are just as tired of snows as we are sometimes."

  That's the silliest thing, and yet it's disarmingly cute to hear from him. "You do realize this is an ice planet, right? Ice and snow are normal for that hopper. It's you and me that don't belong here."

  He chuckles again, the sound low and sensual. "You are wrong. I think we both belong here."

  Heat flares through my body, and I somehow suspect we're not talking about snow. "Maybe…maybe we'd better wrap up this back rub. I think I'm good."

  "I have barely started." A'tam's voice is a low, sexy croon that makes my toes curl. "Let me keep touching you. It feels good, does it not?"

  I don't answer. He knows it does.

  "You are stiff now," he murmurs, fingers gliding up my spine like a lover. My nipples tighten and my core clenches, and dear god almighty, this is not fair in the slightest. "Where does it hurt?"

  "Nowhere," I pant. "I'm good. This is fine. I'm one hundred percent all better now."

  His laughter feels like a caress. "Stubborn little kaari," he murmurs. "Why are you so against asking for help? Why do you not want anyone to see your weaknesses?"

  I shift on the blankets. "Because they'll use them against me."

  "You think I would do that to you?"

  "Yes," I say immediately. Haven't we both said things we didn't mean in the heat of an argument right in front of everyone in camp? That's part of the problem. There are no secrets in the encampment, and our business becomes everyone's business when a voice is slightly raised. I know I've argued with intent to hurt, using words to draw blood, and I know he has, too. It's one reason we're no good together.

  "That wounds me," A'tam says, and he sounds sincere. "I never wish to cause you pain."

  "I never try to hurt you, either, but somehow we keep doing it."