Beauty in Autumn Read online

  "Blindfolded?" I echo.

  Leta nods. "You will be tempted to look at the wonders he will reveal to you. You will want to see the castle. You will want to see his face. You will want to see the true nature of the beast." She sets her cup down and folds her hands in her lap, her expression grave. "But you cannot. No matter what he asks of you, you must not look upon him."

  I swallow hard. I feel a crashing sense of disappointment. Even after all this, I'll never get to look at his face? I won't get to see what he looks like? "How do I remove the curse?"

  "After three nights, if you do not look upon him, the curse will be broken."

  "It's that simple? Truly?"

  Leta chuckles at my question. "Ah, my dear, sweet Willow. It is that simple, and that hard."

  2

  WILLOW

  The days pass in a rush of activity. I help my parents around the farm, doing what I can before the harvest festival. I won't be here to help them....afterward. Either I will lift the curse like Leta said, or I will end up another disappeared girl, never to be heard from again.

  I think about what Leta told me, over and over again. At night, when I'm supposed to be relaxing with a book or my knitting, I sew blindfolds. Not just any blindfold, but ones with extra layers of fabric, so I do not catch a glimpse of the beast. Blindfolds with extra ties so they do not slide off. Blindfolds fitted just for me. Blindfolds for daytime, and blindfolds comfortable enough to sleep in.

  My parents don't notice. They're too busy mourning my imminent death. I try not to let their sorrow get to me. I want to tell them that I'm going to fix the curse but...what if I don't? So I say nothing. I hug them, and tell them how much I love them, and do what I can to make their lives comfortable before I leave.

  At night, my dreams are empty...until the night before the harvest festival.

  That night, I dream of the beast again.

  I'm walking in the forest, just like in the last dream. The wind is brisk with a hint of a chill, and the leaves crunch under my feet. I still can't see anything. I'm blindfolded, just like Leta said I should be. But even though my vision's gone, I can still sense someone nearby. Someone...waiting.

  "I know you're there," I say softly.

  "Why are you here?" He calls out. "Why are you on my path? In my forest?"

  "I'm here to marry you," I tell him. "Here to break the curse."

  He laughs, and the sound is deep, husky, and almost inhuman. I hear footsteps as he approaches, and then a large body presses up against my back. A clawed hand curls around my neck. He doesn't tighten, just lets it linger there. "What do you want?"

  "To break the curse." Why am I aroused by his menacing touch? Why is my skin prickling with awareness at his nearness? Why is my pulse racing because I can feel the warmth of his body against mine?

  "Is that what you truly want?" Something brushes against my ear. Lips? "Or is it something more?"

  And I gasp because he's right...I do want something more. Something more than just lifting the curse. Something more than just freeing him. I want...more of everything. I want his hand - claws and all - to do more than just caress my neck. I want more touches.

  I want to know what his mouth would feel like against mine.

  More than anything, I want to see his face.

  I pull off my blindfold, desperate. I turn, because I want to see his face. But the world goes black around me and I still can't see him. I can't see anything.

  "You lied," he whispers, fading away into the darkness. "You didn't want to free me after all."

  I wake up in a cold sweat.

  The gathering for the harvest festival feels like a waste of time. I dress in my nicest frock, plait my hair, pack my small bag, and hug my parents goodbye. At the edge of the forest, where the Harvest Stone awaits, the maypole has been set up with the ribbons in bright fall colors, as if this is something to celebrate. The other girls weep and cry as they take their places by the pole. I want to reassure them that they won't be picked, but I might be wrong.

  Maybe I'm wrong about all of this. Maybe my dreams are just that - dreams.

  But as I pick up my ribbon and take my place amongst the others, I see Leta watching in the distance. She wears a small smile on her face and nods at me. And I know in that moment I didn't imagine things. Round and round we go, walking around the pole as if in a dream. I watch as one by one, the other girls fall away until only a handful of us still hold on to our ribbons. I can see the looks of horror in the audience as they realize it will be decided soon.

  Then we are down to three, and the end of my ribbon still remains tied to the pole.

  Another ribbon falls away. Two.

  The other girl looks at me, fright on her face. Her eyes are red and she stumbles as she continues to go around in the circle. I'm calm, though. So calm. I already know how this will turn out.

  I look up to the top of the pole. As if in slow motion, her ribbon falls away from the top of the pole, leaving mine the only one still tied.

  I'm the bride. I'm the sacrifice for this year's harvest festival.

  Somewhere in the distance, I can hear my mother wailing. I can hear the unhappy murmur of the crowd. The minister of the kingdom comes forward to shake my hand. "You are doing a good thing this day," he tells me.

  I nod absently. I'm not thinking about him. I'm thinking about my bag full of blindfolds. I can't forget it. Not if I'm going to lift this curse. Not if I'm going to save the beast.

  Is that what you truly want? His voice from my dream echoes in my ear, and I shiver.

  I turn, and Leta's there with my bag. Her eyes are full of meaning, as if reminding me of our conversation. "This is your destiny," she whispers as she hands it to me.

  I won't forget. I nod at her, hitch my small bag over my shoulder, and turn toward the forest.

  "You do this for all of us," the minister says, but I'm not listening. I'm already gazing at the thick expanse of trees along the path, the shadows amidst the greenery.

  Somewhere in there is my beast, and maybe in saving him, I can save myself. We can save each other.

  It grows quiet as I walk away from the Harvest Stone, the maypole, and all the people gathered there. The forest is thicker than I thought it would be, and by the time I'm out of sight of the village, it's unnervingly silent. The path under my feet is cobbled but heavily overgrown, and autumn leaves scatter past on the breeze. I glance around, but I don't see anything or anyone.

  I must remember what Leta said. I stop and open my bag, touched to see that someone's included a loaf of traveling bread and a small skin of water for me. I pull out the first blindfold and tie it tight around my head. I've even made little pockets for my ears, so I can rest the heavy fabric there without worrying it will slide too far down and reveal things. Once it's secure, I grab my bag again and tilt my head, trying to see what's changed.

  I wonder if any of this is going to be like my dream.

  It's still awfully quiet, though. In my dream, the birds sang and the leaves rustled, and this just feels...unnervingly calm. Nothing like my dream. "Is anyone there?"

  "It's me," Leta says, off to one side.

  I turn, surprised to hear the wise woman's voice. "Leta? What are you doing here?"

  "I came to give you one last bit of guidance, Willow." She touches my arm. "You are being very brave. I know you can do this. Just trust in yourself and what I have told you."

  "I won't forget," I tell her. "And I won't look at anything, I swear."

  "I have one more piece of advice to warn you about," she says, gripping my hand and squeezing it tightly. "As I have said, if he is fond of you, the beast will try to persuade you to remove your blindfold off. You must not do it, but there is also one more thing." She pauses. "You must not let him come inside you."

  "Wh-what?" I can feel myself blushing. "I'm a virgin, Leta!"

  "Not for long, my dear," she says in a blunt voice. "I have seen many things in my dreams and explored many possible outcomes. I have see
n several different futures and what could happen. And that is why I must warn you of this - if you have sex with the beast, do not let him come inside you. Not until the curse is lifted."

  "It'll make the curse continue?" I whisper.

  "Er, no. Nothing as dire as that. Just trust me." She pats my hand. I'm not trying to scare you, Willow. Just giving you advice."

  I want to ask her how she knows I'll sleep with the beast. He's a monster, after all. But then I think of my dreams, and the erotic undertone of them. I shiver a little, because in my dreams, I want to make love to the beast badly. But I also want to see his face. I don't know what to think. It's not like me to fling myself at a man - especially a cursed one. Maybe this warning's for nothing. "Thank you, Leta."

  "Do not thank me," she advises. "Just lift this curse."

  "I'll try." I reach out to touch her hand but it's gone. She's gone, and I tilt my head, but I can't hear her anywhere. "Leta?"

  Silence. The leaves rustle on the wind, and distantly, I hear birds begin to chirp.

  Like in my dream. This seems...right. This is how it begins. I straighten, feeling for the path with my foot. I can't tell which way I'm going because of the blindfold, and I don't want to head in the wrong direction. I stretch an arm out in front of me and take a step forward. The leaves continue to rustle, eerily reminding me of my dreams. I half expect to feel the beast standing behind me. The thought makes my body prick with awareness and I reach out behind me.

  Nothing. No one.

  "Hello?" I call out. There's no answer, only silence. I pick up my bag and take a step forward, and the birds continue to twitter and sing, the leaves dancing around my skirts. I pause, uncertain. It still feels like i'm on the path, but how can I be sure? I only have three days to lift the curse, and I don't want to spend it wandering endlessly in the woods. Experimentally, I take a few steps to the side. The cobbled stone path ends and I step on grass.

  The birds go silent. The wind dies.

  Well, that's creepy. I step back onto the path. Immediately, the birds begin their song again. All right. If nothing else, they will guide me. I put a hand out, feeling vulnerable and a little silly wandering into the woods blindfolded. If this is what it takes, though, I'll do it.

  I continue on, walking with shuffling steps. I'm not moving fast, but I'm moving, at least. The path is surprisingly clear, given that the cursed forest is never entered by humans. No one dares to enter for fear they won't come out again alive. But I have no choice, so onward I go. Sometimes the cobbles are uneven and I stumble, but my blindfold stays in place. Sometimes the path curves, and I don't find out until things go silent and the breeze dies. Then, I have to backtrack a few steps, find the right way by listening, and continue onward.

  It's a strange process.

  I walk for a long time, and as I do, the chill autumn air grow colder. The winds grow higher, howling around me and whipping at my hair as if it wants to pull my blindfold off, so I pause and tie a second one over the first, just to be sure. I'm not going to let something as small as the wind destroy my chances at removing the curse. I pick up my pack again once the blindfold is secure--

  And then I hear it.

  Growling.

  It's a low, distant rumble and I pause, waiting for it to sound like my dream. Is it the beast? I get goosebumps at the thought and stand completely still, waiting for him to speak up.

  The growling only grows louder, and I clutch my bag tightly to my chest. What if...what if it's not the beast after all? What if it's wolves? I'm out here in the woods all alone and I can't see. When a new growl comes from my right, and a second ahead of me, I swallow hard.

  It's not the beast.

  I don't know what to do. Do I chance taking my blindfold off and ruining everything? Leta said this wouldn't be easy, but I didn't realize it would be....dangerous like this. I'm terrified for a brief moment that the beast will never find me, and that Leta's been wrong all along - that I'm not going to break the curse. That I'm going to die as wolf food. I dig through my satchel, hoping to find a knife or something I can use as a weapon amidst my sea of blindfolds and the trail bread.

  The growling grows louder. "Go away," I hiss. "Just go!"

  I hear something run past, and I begin to panic. What do I do? What--

  A bloodcurdling snarl echoes in the forest, reverberating all through the trees. It's so loud and fierce that I can practically feel my hair curl. I hold my bag tighter, as if it can shield me from the monster that's coming. That was no wolf. That was something bigger, and scarier. I suck in frightened breaths, turning my head as if I'll be able to hear whatever it is approaching.

  "Are you a fool?" A low voice growls from somewhere nearby.

  I'm startled. It's not the smoky, sexy voice from my dreams. Rather, it sounds like that voice was chewed up and swallowed by something else. The timbre of it is the same, but it rasps and growls more, and the words seem to be pronounced as if it's difficult to speak through his teeth.

  But I know who this is. It's the beast.

  "Not a fool," I call out. "But be careful - there are wolves."

  "I know there are wolves," the beast growls. "Why do you think I scared them off?"

  "Oh. Thank you." I continue to hold my bag tightly, unsure what else to say. I turn my head toward his general direction, and now more than ever, I wish I knew what he looked like, or what I was facing. Because he's different than my dream, and now I'm more curious than ever.

  And a little bit frightened.

  "Take off the damned blindfold," he says in a low, gravelly voice as he approaches. I can hear his feet move onto the path. He lumbers heavily, movements slow, and there's a click of claws on stone. I'm scared...but I'm also a little fascinated. My mind is racing with all kinds of horrible concepts of what he looks like. Are his feet like a bear's paws? Like a wolf? Or are they human with long curved talons? Is he just one beast or a mixing of several? As I stand there contemplating, I hear him move toward me, and he speaks again. "Take off the blindfold so you can look upon your nightmare. Get it over with."

  My heart squeezes, because he sounds defeated. "I can't."

  "You can't what?"

  "Can't take off the blindfold. I promised...a friend. I'm sorry." I shake my head. "It doesn't matter anyhow. I'm Willow, and the kingdom sent me. I'm the one chosen at the Harvest Stone. I'm to be your bride."

  The beast is silent for a long moment. Then, I hear the slow click of claws (talons?) again as he paces around me. "So you have come to throw your life away?"

  "I hope not," I say, keeping my voice bright and cheery to counteract his grim one. "I come from Windybrook. That's the village just on the edge of the woods. What's your name?"

  "My name?" He laughs, and it sounds like broken gravel. "I am called Ainmhidh, girl."

  I'm startled, because ‘ainmhidh’ is beast in the old language. "I'm not going to call you that."

  "No?" It sounds as if the word is torn from his throat. "That is what I am."

  It still seems a terrible thing. "No," I say firmly. "I would appreciate it if you would call me 'Willow' instead of 'girl' and I'll call you by your real name. What is it?"

  He's quiet for a long moment. "Ruari."

  Ah. Red king, again in the old language. I want to ask if he's got red hair, but that might be offensive. He might have no hair. He might have...fur. "Pleased to meet you, Ruari," I manage to choke out. "I'm sorry if I startled you."

  "I was expecting someone," he grumbles. "Just...not you. Come. Follow me. I'll take you to my castle."

  The cursed castle. I shiver and hold out my hand. A short distance away, I can hear Ruari's footsteps clicking away on the cobblestones. Oh. "Um, could you be kind enough to guide me? I can't see."

  "Take off the damned blindfold," he snaps at me. "I have no time for this!"

  I ignore the surly attitude and wiggle my fingers at him. "And I told you I can't take it off. I can stumble my way behind you, but you'll have to be patient with me if I m
ove a little slowly. Or you can be a gentleman and guide me in."

  He growls again, low and menacing, and I feel a surge of alarm. Am I pushing too hard? Is he more beast than man at this point? He says he has no time, but I know he's been cursed for dozens - maybe hundreds - of years. He has all the time in the world. Maybe it's taken its toll on his mind.

  "You sure you want to touch the beast's paw?"

  Well, when he puts it that way, no, I'm not sure. But now's not the time to be missish. "If I'm to be your wife, I'm probably going to touch more than your paw." I continue to hold my hand out to him. "I'm not afraid."

  I can't tell if he growls or laughs, but he makes some sort of deep, rumbling noise in his chest and lumbers closer to me. I remain perfectly still, waiting. I'm a little anxious about his touch - what if it's scales? What if it's fur? What if it's--

  The hand that touches mine is warm. Strong. Completely human. There are calluses on the palm and he grips me tight.

  I'm confused. Is there someone else here with the beast? This is a...nice hand.

  "You look shocked," he says. "Sickened at my touch?" He squeezes my fingers lightly. "Shall I release you?"

  I want to laugh with surprise. I want to run my fingers up his arm and see if all of him feels 'normal' or if he's beastly in other areas. But he sounds so miserable that I do the first thing I can think of to make him less so - I pull his hand to my face and kiss the back of it.

  He's silent, but I can feel a ripple of surprise move through him. "Come," he says after a moment, gruff. "Let us go before night falls."

  And he leads me on through the forest. The beast - no, Ruari - is quiet as we walk, and there's no sound but the heavy thud of his feet on the cobbles, the click of his claws, the occasional snort of his breath that sounds an awful lot like my father's horse. The birds continue to sing and the leaves dance in the air around us, sweeping past my skirts in a rush.