When She Belongs: A SciFi Alien Romance (A Risdaverse Tale Book 4) Read online

  I knew that and fell in love with him anyhow. So it's my fault.

  57

  JERROK

  My blood feels like ice.

  I answer Bethiah methodically, even though I'm not paying attention to her. I walk and talk, but inside, I'm dead. Sophie's casual words to my cousin ring in my head over and over again.

  We're just fooling around, I promise. It means nothing. I'm leaving with the va Sithai anyhow.

  After last night, I thought things were different. After last night, I thought…maybe…that I'd ask her if she wanted to stay for a little while. Just to be with me. And I'd hoped that her answer might be…a good one. After what we'd shared last night, it seemed possible.

  Clearly I'm three kinds of a keffing fool. Of course she's going to leave. Of course what we have means nothing to her. She won't stay because after years of being trapped, Sophie wants to be free. I understand it, and the last thing she needs is a surly junker who's gotten far too possessive of her. So I won't ask her to stay. When the va Sithai return, I'll send her off with a smile even if it tears me up inside.

  Because Sophie deserves to be happy, and I want her to do what makes her happy.

  The Pleasure Spot fires up, and the ship, now much uglier and slightly weather-beaten, steers toward the hangar bay doors. I raise a hand to wave goodbye to my cousin, and then head inside the air lock. It seals behind me and I watch as Bethiah's ship takes off. The numbness doesn't go away. The cold lingers in my belly.

  Sophie's not mine to keep.

  It goes against everything I am as a mesakkah. As a people, we're more than slightly covetous, and we get attached quickly. It seems that holds true, even if I don't spend much time with others of my kind…because I want to grab Sophie and shut down all communications to my asteroid station. I want to take my shuttle and spirit her away, just so no one can find her. But…then I'm just as bad as her last master.

  There's no winning this.

  I close my eyes, fighting against the wave of angry pain. I knew this was the case. I knew Sophie was always going to leave. Just because I've developed feelings for her doesn't change a thing. I need to keffing get over it. I take several steadying breaths and try to relax. Sophie's still here. She's mine for now.

  I need to enjoy the time we have together. Show her how perfect and wonderful she is. Love her with every bone in my body and maybe, maybe she'll come back sometimes and visit. After all, the va Sithai swing by once every year or so to unload a wreck.

  It's better than nothing.

  With that thought in mind, I go to find Sophie.

  She's not in my quarters, or in her old ones, so I head toward the terrarium. I hear her low voice, talking to the carinoux in the syrupy tone she takes on whenever she's coddling the animal, and it brings a reluctant smile to my face. She loves that thing a ridiculous amount, and I think of the funds the dark-matter drive will bring in. Hopefully it'll be enough to ensure that she can keep it at her side, always. If nothing else, maybe I can work out some sort of payment plan with the va Sithai, send them credits on the regular. I'll figure it out.

  A stick lands at my feet, and in the next moment, the carinoux bounds across the tile floor toward me, all legs and teeth. A flash of alarm races through me, but it only grabs the stick in its mouth, gives me a playful look, and then bounds off again. Sophie's laughter fills the terrarium. "Sleipnir! You're supposed to bring it back to me, silly."

  I watch as the carinoux disappears into the thick of vines, amused. "I think he's gone with it," I call out.

  The soft patter of footsteps echoes on the tile floor, and then Sophie is there in front of me, as beautiful as ever. In contrast to Bethiah's flashy jumper, ornate hair, and loads of weapons, she's plain. The jumper she wears is a dull brown, stained with use, and hangs off of her lithe form. Her hair is pulled back into the two tight knots again, scraped away from her face, but it only emphasizes how lovely she is, how delicate…and how wide her smile is at the sight of me.

  "Did you know Sleipnir can play fetch? It's so cute." She gives me a rueful look and gestures at the vines. "He's still working on the whole 'return it to me' thing, but it's a start." Sophie studies my face, and her smile fades. "Bethiah decided to stay?"

  I must look dejected. I force an answering smile to my face, when all I want to do is grab Sophie and hold her tight. "No, she's gone. It's just us now."

  Her expression grows wistful, her eyes sad. "You're going to miss her?"

  Not nearly as much as you, I want to say. I just shrug instead, staring off where her pet has disappeared into the plants.

  To my surprise, Sophie puts her arms around my waist, holding me, and her cheek pillows on my chest. Her hand smooths up and down my back. She's…comforting me.

  The hard knot of emotion in my throat seems to grow impossibly large, and I clutch her against me tightly. I never want to let her go. Ever. I'll do anything I can think of to get her to stay. Anything at all. My mind races with the need to offer her everything—the carinoux, more books, flower seeds, pretty clothes—but…I can't do that. I can't bribe her to stay if she doesn't want to. So I just squeeze her tightly against me and savor this moment.

  "When does the Jabberwock arrive?" she asks, her voice muffled against my chest, her hands skimming up and down my back.

  "Not for a few days at least."

  "Mmm." Her response is low and sultry, and my cock pricks to alertness. "However shall we pass the time?"

  I think for a moment. In bed, I want to declare, but maybe that's not what she means. Does she want to do something else? "We can scrap, of course. And if you want, I can show you the basics of how to drive the shuttle—"

  Her hand slides to my tail and she traces a finger underneath it in teasing, fluttering touches. My cock jolts at that, and my sac tightens. Kef me, but that feels good.

  "Or…" I choke out. "We can do other things."

  "I like that idea," Sophie murmurs, gazing up at me with a playful smile on her lips. "What did you have in mind?"

  Wordless, I grab her by the hips and haul her up into my arms. I turn and leave the terrarium behind, heading for my quarters and the bed we've been sharing. Sophie giggles, burying her face against me, and begins to press kisses against my neck.

  Showing her how to pilot the shuttle can wait. I need to absorb every moment with Sophie that I can.

  58

  SOPHIE

  I hate that the Jabberwock arrives. Hate it. After days of Bethiah hanging around, I want to be alone with Jerrok again for weeks on end. Now that we're having sex in addition to sharing a bed? It doesn't feel like there's enough time in the day to do everything that needs to be done. Jerrok attends to the station maintenance, and we half-heartedly scrap for a little while before one of us is overcome with lust for the other, and then all thoughts of work go out the door as we make love.

  I've never experienced the giddiness of being with someone I can't keep my hands off of, and being with Jerrok is amazing. Every time I'm near him, I just want to grab him and show him how much I want him. We can't pass by each other or start a conversation without it devolving into frantic, hungry kisses. We make love on every table and workbench in the station. We make love in the shower. We make love in the hallway, my back pressed against the wall as he thrusts into me. We make love on his bed and on mine.

  I'm addicted to him. I fully admit it. My first thought when I wake up is Jerrok, and he's the last thing I see when I go to sleep. My thoughts are filled with him even when I work, and the day-to-day monotony of scrapping and noodle-eating is actually a lot of fun. It's a comfortable routine, made all the better by enjoyable company. We can take a break whenever we want (and we do, often) and we usually end up back in each other's arms again.

  Everything about him is amazing. It's not just the piercings on his cock, which hit me in all the right spots when he's deep inside me. It's not just his spur, though god knows that is certainly amazing and I've never come harder. Or when he wakes me up every
morning with his mouth between my legs? Heaven. But…it's more than all that.

  It's Jerrok, and the way he looks at me. It's the way he holds me when I come, and talks to me the entire time, letting me know that he's got me. It's the way he's always so very, very careful to make sure that we're facing each other, because he knows what triggers me. It's those things that I love. It's those moments that make me feel like the luckiest woman alive.

  I could spend all day every day just with him, making love, scrapping, and hanging out.

  Which is maybe why I'm so resentful when the Jabberwock arrives.

  I try to hide my mutinous glare as the hatch opens and people pour out of the ship. It's a larger cruiser, one of the biggest ones I've seen for a private vessel. Jerrok makes pleased noises at the sight of it as it glides into the hangar. "Skater-class engine. Those are nice."

  I nudge him. "Maybe if you ask politely you'll get to play with it."

  He flashes me a surprisingly boyish grin, and my heart melts a little. However I feel about the Jabberwock being here, it's clear this is a pleasurable visit for Jerrok and I want to do my best to enjoy it. I adjust the cloak and cowl I'm wearing, the ooli mask over my features. Even though the crew of the Jabberwock are supposed to be safe, we don't want to take any chances. After all, they might have a surprise passenger, like Bethiah did. Jerrok explained to me that all pirates tend to take on the occasional passenger off the records, usually to make a quick credit or three, and a lot of them are escaped prisoners hiding out from prison systems and law enforcement.

  I kind of hope they do have a passenger, because then maybe they won't stay long.

  "Jerrok! You bucket of bolts!" The enormous male mesakkah bounding down the ramp spreads his arms, a wide grin on his face.

  "Kivian," Jerrok says gravely in a subdued greeting.

  Kivian is…not what I expected to see in a mesakkah corsair. I thought he'd be like the va Sithai brothers, who tend to wear ship uniforms and weapons holstered at their belts. They wear heavy boots and the emphasis is on durability, not fashion. Kivian…didn't get that memo. When he spreads his arms in welcome, his sleeves billow out and shimmer like something in an old 70s disco. His tunic is made of a fluttering silk with tons of ruffles at the neck, and his belt is jeweled and has not a single weapon on it. His boots are sparkly and encrusted with so many gems that I suspect they're worth more than Jerrok's junky old shuttle. Kivian's hair is short and in a flamboyant swoop over one eye, a wild contrast to Jerrok's tangled mane that he forgets to brush. The corsair captain would look utterly ridiculous with all that bling if he wasn't so huge and clearly muscled.

  I want to move protectively closer to Jerrok, because that “bucket of bolts” comment irks me, but Jerrok is moving forward to greet Kivian, apparently unbothered by the other male's flashy greeting. They clasp forearms and Kivian peers at Jerrok as if in shock. "I didn't recognize you without all that dirt. What happened? Did the authorities swing by and hold you down? Force you to bathe?"

  "Were they pretty authorities?" chimes in the big male behind him.

  "Not funny, Tarekh," calls a sharp female voice, and there's the sound of a hand smacking an arm.

  "Kinda funny," the one called Tarekh says, grinning. He's…hideous. That's the nicest way to put it. I've seen some scarred aliens, but this guy looks as if his strong mesakkah features got broken and then rearranged badly. His smile is friendly, though, and Jerrok greets him just as warmly as Kivian.

  "I see you brought your brains with you," Jerrok says, gesturing at a small human female that steps forward.

  Tarekh just howls with laughter, putting a big hand on the female's shoulder. "Cat said she wanted to see your station this time. We heard the va Sithai left a friend here, so we figured why not."

  "Zoey's been talking about it non-stop," Cat says, pushing her way past the men. "Show her to me. I need to say hello."

  Okay, Cat is apparently ballsy as hell. I blink in surprise as the tiny woman saunters up to me. She must be five foot, max, and maybe a hundred pounds soaking wet. She wears a port-fleet issued jumper, the patches removed off of it and replaced with floral embroidery, and she has a blaster slung on her hip that's as big as her arm. And she has freckles, which I haven't seen since I left Earth. She marches up to me and sizes me up, then turns back to the others. "I totally want an ooli mask. Where did you get that?" She looks over at me again and sticks her hand out. "By the way, I'm Catrin, Tarekh's mate. He's the big oaf in the back with the goofy smile."

  I glance back and sure enough, ugly Tarekh is beaming in our direction. He's even bigger than Adiron, which surprises me, because Adiron is the most solidly built mesakkah I've ever seen, but Tarekh is in a class all his own. How he hasn't squished this tiny human woman is beyond me. I look over at Jerrok, then reluctantly take my mask off. "Hi," I say quietly. "I'm Sophie."

  "Oh, look at how pretty you are!" Cat's sharp voice carries throughout the hangar. Her face creases up in an expression of pure delight. "And your accent! Is that…Alabama?"

  "Tennessee," I say shyly. "But it's been so long I can't tell you much about it anymore. My memories of Earth are…" I wave a hand, feeling awkward.

  "Feels like someone else's life, doesn't it? I can relate." Her expression is sympathetic.

  "Sometimes, yes."

  She holds her hand out to me. "The others would love to meet you. Especially Zoey. But get ready to be grilled about her brothers."

  Uh oh. "Grilled?"

  "Oh yeah. She's talked about nothing else for days now." Cat rolls her eyes, a bright smile on her face. "It seems they're not great at returning comms, so she's counting on you to fill her in on all the gossip."

  Well, Zoey's not wrong about that. The va Sithai haven't called me, either.

  59

  SOPHIE

  Cat leads-slash-drags me into the Jabberwock to meet the other human women, all enthusiasm. I'm a little more reluctant, because it's been a while since I've interacted with those of my own kind. Kim, of course, but that was months and months ago. Before that, it was the occasional run-in with another slave serving a master, and those meetings were never pleasant. Even Kim had been more stressed than happy, but Cat is just…bubbling over with happiness. She talks in a loud voice, slaps her mate's ass as we pass by him, and seems utterly fearless. She more or less hauls me toward the bridge, because “that's where Zoey will be.”

  When we get to the bridge, though, I'm a little surprised. The ship is larger than the Little Sister, the controls far more complex than the already mind-boggling array of toggles I'm familiar with. There's two seats at the navigation station, and they're very close together. As I watch, a tall, almost too-proper-looking mesakkah glances over at us. His hair is cut short, and his ship uniform is buttoned all the way up. He looks…starchy. Disapproving. But then the female next to him turns, and she's anything but. This has to be Zoey, but she's not like I pictured. I thought for some reason that she'd be more like most mesakkah I've seen—slender and elegant. This woman is short and busty, wearing a uniform that matches the guy at her side, but her sleeves are rolled up and her brown hair is pulled into a silky ponytail that brushes against her open collar. She looks over at me in surprise. "Holy shit, Sophie. Hi!" She scowls at Cat. "Why'd you drag her on here? We were going to visit their station, weren't we?"

  "Your ass is still here on the bridge." Cat waves a finger at her, undeterred. "I figured we needed to come get you before you two get distracted and I see something I don't want to see."

  The proper-looking man at Zoey's side flushes, but Zoey just smirks. "Is it my fault if you watched?"

  "It is if you guys are fucking on the bridge."

  "Must we speak of this in front of a guest?" the male asks stiffly.

  "Right. Sorry." Zoey leans over and plants a kiss on the alien's mouth. "Come get me if you need me?"

  His expression softens. "Go. I'll be fine here."

  Zoey grins and then bounces up from her seat. She immediately co
mes toward me, her arms outstretched…as if she's going to hug me.

  I pull back, alarmed, and retreat a step.

  Awkward silence fills the bridge. "Right," Zoey says, managing to smile. "I forgot that you haven't been free for very long."

  Cat just pats my shoulder. "I tried to punch everyone in the face for a long time afterward. You know when Tarekh freed me, I spit in his face."

  I blanch at the thought. "Was he very mad?"

  "Nah, he fell in love." She grins at me and Zoey. "Come on. Let's go retrieve the others before we invade Jerrok's station and make him miserable."

  Cat pulls me along through the ship, and I'm a little bewildered at so many people. There are eight crew on board the Jabberwock and Fran and Kivian's new baby, Jasmine. It doesn't seem like that much in the scheme of things, but I'm overwhelmed at just how noisy they are, how crowded despite the large ship. I can't imagine living like this on a day-to-day basis compared to the sheer quiet of Jerrok's station out in the middle of nowhere. It reminds me (a little too much) of the space station we visited where people were wall to wall, talking over one another.

  That's just how it is in space, but…I don't like it.

  Cat leads me into a large rec room and there's two women sitting there, along with a large mesakkah male. The alien man brushes the hair of the woman seated between his legs, her eyes covered by an odd-looking visor. The other woman has an enormous baby in her arms and is fussing with what looks like the space equivalent of a diaper bag.

  "Guys," Cat says. "Aren't you ready? We landed ages ago."

  The man looks up from the woman's hair and scowls at Cat. "Iris wants a braid. I'm almost done."

  Iris—the woman in the odd visor—smiles sweetly in our direction. "I can skip it if it's a big deal."

  "No," says the man that is clearly her mate. "I've got it." He portions her hair into sections and begins to braid.