Bridget's Bane: A SciFi Alien Romance Read online

  With a heavy sigh, I roll onto my side. I want to drum my fingers on the wood floor of her hut, but I do my best not to show my impatience. Raven's doing me a favor with the dancing lessons, and I've appreciated it so much. It feels like I have a friend again, which is nice, considering that as everyone has paired off, all my friends have focused in on their mates and their crafts and I feel as if I've been left behind. Out of everyone that's landed here, only me, Flor, Steph, Sam and Tia haven't resonated.

  Sam doesn't want to resonate. Tia's too young (and is at the other camp anyhow). I don't know about Flor and Steph, but I'm torn between being glad that my cootie's silent and feeling like a reject.

  Unfortunately the reject feeling is normal to me. I've been rejected by those I've been close to all my life. Hell, we've been away from Earth for, what, four months now, and I still feel like I'm going to have my disapproving mother call me and tell me how disappointed she is in my life choices and my “squat” body that looks nothing like hers.

  Mother (never Mom) always looked perfect. Pristine. Ethereal, like life couldn't touch her. Daisy's like that, too. It's just another reason for me to hate her, even though I'm sure she's very nice.

  I drag a finger across the wood floor of U'dron and Raven's hut. "Have you seen her today?"

  Raven doesn't ask who. She knows. "Not today, no. She's probably with the others prepping for the new round of games."

  Of course she is. Ever since she arrived, Daisy's been stuck like glue to Shadow Cat clan, and most notably A'tam. Freaking beautiful Daisy, with her perfect red-gold hair and bright smile and gorgeous skin. Daisy's the reason I'm in here learning how to dance, how to move and be sexy.

  Well, Daisy's not the only reason. I'm a mess. I'm still hung up over A'tam. I tell myself I don't want anything to do with him. That he's just an ass and his dick’s too big and my human-sized hoo-ha is too small…and then I see him with Daisy and I lose my mind with jealousy. That he's mine and she doesn't get to flirt with him or touch him.

  But then I remember how awful our sex was and how much it hurt, and I back away again.

  And yet…others have resonated and are quite happy with their mates. Not a single one has complained that their alien mate's dick is so freakishly huge that it hurts her. In fact, every single woman that has resonated—like Raven here—pretty much glows with happiness.

  Which means that I just must be smaller than everyone else downstairs.

  I hate how it always comes back to me being the issue. Some things never change, and the thought is depressing. I draw circles on the wood floor with my finger, reluctant to get up and try dancing again. "I heard the game is gonna be teams of two now instead of two big teams. Are you and U'dron going to play?"

  She shrugs. "Probably not? He's not all that interested in one of the knives and neither am I. Plus I can think of a lot of other things I'd rather do with my spare time than go around collecting points."

  "Is that what they're doing? Collecting points?" I deliberately skirt around the fact that I can just guess what she'd rather be doing with U'dron. After all, they are newly resonated. They can barely keep their hands off one another. It's achingly sweet, and I'm so happy for her…even if I'm envious.

  "Dunno. Every time they look in my direction, I do my best to seem busy so I won't get roped in." She grins and gestures that I should stand up. "Come on. Let's give the dancing another try. I'm sure you can make some progress. Maybe we should do some stretches first?"

  Her chipper mood just makes me feel worse. "Actually, I think I'm done for today." I sit up and offer her an apologetic smile. "My head's not in it and I thought maybe I'd go see Veronica's baby."

  Raven's eyes light up. "I'll join you. He's the cutest little golden butterball." A dreamy look crosses her face. "I never thought I'd have babies on the brain, but I can't seem to get my mind off of them lately."

  I find my shoes and start lacing them. "It's because you're going to have one."

  "Not for at least thirteen months if Harlow and Liz are correct." She pats her incredibly flat abdomen. "I'm not sure if I'd want a three-month pregnancy like Veronica, though. That seems far too fast. Ask me again when I'm in month thirteen, though."

  I chuckle at that. Everyone's a little in awe at how quickly Veronica's pregnancy progressed. Ashtar is of a race called “drakoni” with a draconic shape-changing form and fire abilities. Apparently they also have a very quick gestation period, because it seemed like one day Veronica's belly was sticking out like she'd swallowed a football, and the next, she had a baby in her arms. It's an exaggeration of course, but three months does seem lightning fast.

  Her baby's huge, too. His name is Katamneas, and he's a big ol' chunk of cuteness to go with the big name. Everyone's been cooing over him for days now, and Ashtar is beside himself with happiness. I've never seen a man so damn giddy to be a father, and it makes me wistful. I wonder what that'd be like, to have a guy who's thrilled to have a kid, a father who actually wants to be part of their baby's life. I can't imagine.

  Raven and I head out of U'dron's hut, wrapping up in furs as we head out. The brutal season is deeply upon us, and every breeze seems to feel like it slices into your bones. It's ridiculously cold at night, and several of the girls in the cave have taken to piling together in bed to share warmth. I do on the nights that I don't sneak out to my pottery cave, but even then I can't sleep all that well. I'm too busy thinking about how I can improve things. How I can make my pots sturdier. How I can fire them without them breaking the moment they cool down.

  I still haven't told anyone about my pottery ventures. Maybe I never will, if I keep on sucking at them. The only one that knows is A’tam…and lately, Pak. The kid’s been showing up from time to time, usually only when A’tam is gone or off gathering more clay or water for me. He slinks in silently when he thinks I’m not looking and watches me work. Sometimes he steals a bit of dried meat I’ve brought for a meal. We don’t talk—I don’t think he wants to chat—and I just do my best to keep on working.

  Once, I tried to tell him that it was okay for him to come and hang out in the cave. That he’s free to use it himself. Pak only stared at me with his little chubby face and then raced out again, so I’m not sure if he got the message. I leave a little nest of furs in his favorite spot, though, and I bring snacks at night. They’re almost always gone by morning. He’s a cute kid, but wild. Sometimes I wonder if he thinks of me as his mom.

  Boy, I must really have babies on the brain. Better than pottery, I suppose.

  The beach is crowded today, with a few of the Strong Arm men tossing a big leather ball back and forth. Now that we've reached blizzard-like conditions in the mountains, when the weather's bad, the hunters all stay in the shelter of the cove, where we're protected from the worst of the wind and snow. Today's an overcast day, and so people are everywhere. We skirt the group on the beach, heading up the gentle slope toward the cliffs. Veronica's hut is at the edge of the camp, close to where Strong Arm has their tent cluster set up. Tall Horn and Shadow Cat have huts near the cliffs, but Strong Arm built deliberately apart from the others.

  When we get to Veronica's hut, Hannah's taking stock of her root supply, making notes on a skin in the antechamber of Veronica's double-hut. Other than the newly built longhouse, it's the biggest hut in the encampment because it also doubles as a clinic of sorts. Hannah has taken charge of the herbal remedies and of assisting Veronica with her healing, and she gives us a warning look as we approach.

  "Don't be in there too long," she whispers, glancing toward the door. "She didn't sleep well last night and everyone's been over to visit today. She needs to rest."

  "We're just coming to gawk at the baby and then we'll leave her alone," I promise, not put off by Hannah's bossy tone. I've known Hannah for months now and her sour attitude masks the fact that she's deeply protective of those she loves and wants the best for them. Veronica would never chase anyone away from her hut to take a nap, so Hannah's going to take on that
role for her. In a way, it's kind of sweet.

  Hannah nods and goes back to work. "Go ahead and head in. Might as well put a revolving door in here for all the foot traffic that baby gets," she grumbles, separating stacks of roots.

  Raven's lips twitch with amusement as she looks over at me, and then we duck into the main part of Veronica's hut, separated from the antechamber by a large double-flap of leather that poses as her door. Inside Veronica's tidy hut, I'm surprised to see that Daisy's already there.

  My nemesis. It figures.

  I keep a frozen smile on my face as Daisy looks up at us in surprise. Her arms are full of baby and blankets, while Veronica yawns and relaxes on her bed, watching with a sleepy expression. She does look tired, I have to admit. Just a quick peek at the little guy, and then we'll be on our way, I decide. "Hope you don't mind a bit more company," I say cheerfully. "We wanted to come and see how the two of you are doing."

  Veronica beams, her expression tired but happy. "He's such a good baby. And strong, too."

  Daisy brings him over to us, and Raven puts her arms out. I notice Daisy is reluctant to hand him over, her expression full of yearning. "He really is beautiful, Veronica," Daisy says softly. "What did you say you were calling him again?"

  "Katamneas is a bit of a mouthful," Veronica replies. "Ashtar tells me all the greats in his people have long names. We're calling him Kata for short, though."

  "Kata's cute," I offer, watching as Raven takes the baby into her arms. Little Kata is absolutely enormous, I realize again, and it startles me to think of Veronica giving birth to such a gargantuan baby. It seems like he's grown overnight, his arms and legs chubby and studded with tiny, blunted spikes in a mimic of his father's. He's got the same golden skin that Ashtar does, but his hair is ridiculously thick and sticks straight up, a shock of deep brown like Veronica's. He opens his khui-blue eyes and watches us so intently that you can almost see the wheels turning in his little mind, and then he lifts one fist to his mouth and begins to chew on it, eyes closing.

  Raven makes a soft sound. "He's so beautiful, Veronica. Seriously." She rubs Kata's fat little cheek. "You must be so proud."

  "We are. He's smart, too." She beams at us, and Daisy discreetly exits the room with a little wave goodbye to Veronica. I can't say I'm sorry to see her leave, and then I feel a bit guilty that I'm such an asshole to her.

  But seriously. There are a bunch of men on the beach. Why did she have to go after A'tam?

  Determined not to let that man ruin my mood this early in the day, I reach out and touch Kata's little hand. Baby fingers are incredibly tiny as it is, but his little fingernails look like the black claws of his father, a bit fearsome to see on a newborn. "Do you need mittens for him? These look like they could scratch an eye out."

  Veronica chuckles. "Daisy offered to make me some."

  "That's nice of her," Raven murmurs, nudging me with her elbow as she bounces the baby.

  I say nothing. Of course Daisy's already on it. Daisy's perfect. Not that I'm a great seamstress, but I can use a damn needle. It's fine, I tell myself. I'll just sneak away later and vent my frustrations on my pottery. I have a new batch I'm “slow cooking” over coals right now, and I have high hopes for it.

  Veronica sits up, adjusting her tunic. "Here, I'll take him. He's hungry."

  I glance over at the placid baby, who looks like he's about to fall asleep. He doesn't look hungry at all. If anything, he—

  Kata lets out a little whimper, his mouth working, and then he begins to cry.

  "Wow. Your mother's intuition is pretty good," Raven says, impressed. She moves to Veronica's side and hands her the baby, and we watch as the new mom settles him against her breast. "You need anything from us? Snacks? Shrimp tea? Gossip?"

  Veronica gives us a tired smile. "I'm good. Once he goes to sleep, I think I'm going to catch up on a nap myself."

  There's such a look of contentment on her face that I feel a stab of envy. I glance over at Raven and she's got the same look on her damn face. It's the my-mate-is-awesome-and-we-have-great-sex-and-now-babies look.

  In this moment, I hate the world and everyone in it. Maybe I need to go pound some clay. If they're going to do more games, I can probably get away from everyone and focus on my pottery. "Yeah, I think I'm going to go, too. I've got some stuff I'm working on."

  Raven nods absently. "I do, too. I was scraping some new skins for Juth and Pak. It's cold today and I want to make sure they have some warm stuff to wear." We wave our goodbyes to Veronica, but she's already absorbed in feeding her baby, a sleepy expression on her face as she gazes down at him.

  As we leave, Raven and I part near the women's cave. We're both lost in our own thoughts, Raven no doubt thinking about how to clothe the two outcasts that won't join the camp, and me thinking about pottery and A'tam, my two favorite obsessions and frustrations. I loiter outside the cave, not heading too near the main fire where a few of the women are seated, working on sewing and trying to ignore the cold weather. Devi has a cup of shrimp tea in her hands, huddled up and sharing a blanket with her mate N'dek, and they look so sweet and loved up that I ache.

  Why is it when I picture myself in that same situation, I picture A'tam with me? We're not compatible. I might like his smile and his personality, but his dick is an absolute deal breaker (as well as a vagina breaker). It makes me sad. We're all wrong for each other but I can't seem to move on. I wander toward the group on the beach, studying the faces of the men. With each new resonance, there's one less available potential mate, and a few of the girls are starting to wonder if they'll ever resonate.

  That makes me sad, too. I want babies and a family. I want that unconditional love that comes with resonance. It's something I absolutely want in my future, unlike Sam. She likes her freedom here and has made it clear she wants no romantic entanglements. I wish I was more like her but…I'm lonely.

  My gaze strays to A'tam. He's with Shadow Cat on the beach, all of them clustered together as if planning something, and of course Daisy is with them. Her bright hair stands out amongst the white furs everyone's wearing and the blue skin of the men. I'm too far away to hear what they're saying, but Daisy gives them an impish look and then I'rec, O'jek and A'tam all laugh uproariously, as if she's said the funniest thing ever.

  I don't blame I'rec and O'jek for flirting with Daisy. But seeing A'tam do it fills me with anger and frustration…and hurt. For a man that's professed his love for me, he sure has moved on quickly. I watch them, depressed. No amount of sexy dancing is going to make me as appealing as Daisy. She's spent the last ten years as a courtesan. She knows how to flirt with the best of them and how to work the men. I'm a decent flirt, but I'm an amateur next to her.

  Fucking Daisy. She can have A'tam. Maybe I'll resonate to someone else if I ever resonate. I study the group that's gathered, assessing each man that has yet to find a mate.

  There's I'rec, but his personality rubs me the wrong way. He's brash and dismissive and acts like he should be in charge of this entire beach. O'jek is not much better. Whereas I'rec runs his mouth, O'jek is mostly silent, but they're cut from the same arrogant cloth. There's Sessah, the youngest of all the men on the beach at around nineteen or so, but I'm pretty sure he's in love with Tia. He's nice enough, I suppose. R'jaal, too. He's the only one in Tall Horn that hasn't resonated, and while he's friendly and pleasant and cute…he's just never done it for me. I've always been obsessed with A'tam. A'tam and his beautiful mouth and his flirty ways and his gorgeous body. A'tam who has trouble sleeping at night because he doesn't like to be alone, and feels like a kindred spirit.

  A'tam, who has a baseball bat under his loincloth.

  I need to move on. I can't obsess over the same guy for the rest of my life. I just can't. Not when he's already clearly moved on to Daisy. So I paste a bright smile to my face, give up on working on pottery, and approach the group by the beach. "Are all the teams made or is there room for one more?"

  11

  A'TAM


  I am surprised when B'shit offers to play in the team games. She approaches with a bright smile on her face, and my heart thuds at the sight of her.

  D'see's plan has not been working. I was so confident that it would take no time to have B'shit fling herself into my arms and demand to be my pleasure mate once more, but that has not been true. B'shit has pushed me away and now we are not even friends. I feel as if I have taken two great steps backward instead of leaping forward, and my frustration knows no bounds.

  But now she is here, and she smiles. Her gaze strays to me and her smile falters a little, but then she beams at R'jaal and settles in next to him and I clench my jaw. Tall Horn. Pfah. She can do better than that. She can be with me.

  "This is perfect," L'ren says, glancing over at W'lla. The two females must be in charge of this round of games, as their mates have both won knives in the past and it would be unfair for them to win another. L'ren clasps her hands in front of her. "Now we have an even number playing. This is going to be a five-day contest, so if you don't want to put aside five days, then walk away now."

  "What else are we going to do?" calls Sam, grinning. "It's the brutal season. We're stuck here on this beach."

  "Not exactly," W'lla says. "Part of the contest is going to involve a round for hunting. There are five rounds. Cooking, Fishing, Skinning, Hunting, and then a treasure hunt. When we have clear weather, of course."

  "Cooking?" I'rec asks, crossing his arms over his chest. "Pfah."

  "Hunting?" F'lor echoes, mocking him. "Pfah!"

  Everyone laughs except I'rec.

  L'ren puts her hands in the air. "We're doing a variety of tasks so everyone has a fair shot at winning this. If you're not good at fishing, you might want to pick a partner that is, for example. We have twelve people playing now," she points at B'shit, "So now we can have six teams, which works out perfectly. With each round, the team in last place will be removed from the competition. On the last day, there will be two teams left, which means they battle it out for the prize. Sound good to everyone?"