Bridget's Bane: A SciFi Alien Romance Read online

  I think of our conversations, late at night. I try to recall if she has mentioned such things before, but I only remember her mentioning her mother. She mentions her a great deal, so they must have been close. "I do not think so."

  "Maybe it's not that, then. Maybe it's simpler. Maybe she's just jealous of Daisy? You do spend a lot of time with her, and Daisy's very pretty and sweet. She knows she's attractive, and maybe Bridget sees that as a threat."

  Z'hren smashes a bit of root against the side of my mouth when I do not eat quickly enough, so I stick my tongue out and wait for him to feed me. When he is satisfied, I chew, and respond to Shail. "I want her to be jealous of D'see. That is all part of the plan."

  "What plan?" Shail sounds skeptical.

  "D'see says if we make B'shit jealous, she will come running to my arms."

  "Or she'll go running the other way," Shail replies dryly. "That's a dangerous game you're playing. If she realizes what you're doing, she's going to be really upset. You two need to be honest with each other and how you feel."

  "I am honest!" My protest is interrupted by Z'hren shoving another piece of food into my mouth. Impatient, I chew quickly and when I can speak again, I continue. "B'shit knows how I feel. She knows I feel she is my mate. Resonance could not make me want her more."

  Shail watches me with that motherly look and then sighs. "Look. I know what it's like to be in love with someone without resonance. I'm not saying it has to happen for people to be happy. But the core of any relationship is honesty and openness. Let's try and reverse it. What if you found out that, say, Bridget was going to I'rec's furs every night?"

  "It would not happen," I say immediately. "I'rec does not want her because he knows she is mine."

  Shail pinches the bridge of her nose. "R'jaal, then. Let's say she was going to R'jaal's furs. And let's say it made you upset."

  I frown at the thought of B'shit kissing R'jaal. Of B'shit making those soft little moans when R'jaal touched her. I want to snarl at the thought. "Of course it would make me upset—"

  Shail raises a hand, silencing me. "Now let's say you found out later that it was all a joke, that she made you upset because she wanted you to be jealous."

  I want to growl low in my throat at the thought, but Z'hren is pushing another piece of food toward me. Are all kits as fascinated with feeding others as this one, I wonder? I grab one of his small hands before he can reach into the bowl again, but he has four of them and it is a losing battle. "I would be angry," I say. "I would not like that she hurt me just to hurt me."

  "Exactly. Now you're getting it."

  I am. And perhaps I have been going about things all wrong.

  21

  BRIDGET

  I leave the healer's tent the next afternoon, my head an absolute mess.

  When I woke up this morning, things were awkward between me and A'tam. I knew he was upset that I halted things last night, but he didn't take it out on me. He was kind, and courteous, and carried me back to camp even though I protested that I could walk. He brought me to Veronica's tent, made sure the healer would be able to help me, and then disappeared.

  Now, hours later, my ankle and back feel like new, I've had a nap in the healer's tent and…I still don't know what to do about A'tam. In the small moments, he's wonderful. He's funny and charming and I love being with him.

  But…the sex was goddamn awful. Awful to the point that I can't get over it. I'd rather have my wisdom teeth extracted by an ice planet dentist than go through that again. Maybe it's just awful with me because of my small size downtown.

  Daisy hasn't complained, and she's sharing huts with him now. That's another thing that bothers me—he's hooking up with Daisy and still flirting with me. I know I told him originally that I wanted a casual relationship, but how fucking casual does he think I want?

  I don't know what to think.

  Daisy's bright laughter trills over the camp and I grit my teeth. My stomach growls and I head for the main fire to see what's cooking today. Someone always has food ready because the emphasis with the tribe is that we're all one unit. Everyone pitches in. If you're going hunting that day, someone else will make you food. If you help out around camp, you get fed. Even cleaning skins or drying herbs helps out, because someone's going to need those skins. Someone's going to need those herbs. In a way, it's beautiful.

  Today, though, it just sucks, because it sounds like Daisy's near the fire. I wonder if I should head toward the longhouse and see if someone's made food there. We're so used to gathering around the beach fire that people only go into the longhouse when the weather's bad, and today it's decent, with only a mild breeze.

  There's more laughter coming from the fire, and even though I don't want to see Daisy hanging all over A'tam, I'm curious what everyone's finding so funny. I hope it's not something to do with me. My stomach clenches into a knot at the thought of A'tam telling everyone what happened between us last night. Please, no.

  But when I gently shoulder my way into the group, I see that there's four groups by the fire. Daisy and O'jek sit in front of two large bowls, Brooke and Taushen are making little seed-mix cakes with their hands, and R'jaal and I'rec are elbowing each other, a spread of small, messy bowls in front of them. Off to one side, Bek hovers over Elly as she bastes a few tidbits of meat that smoke and sizzle on one of the rocks at the edge of the fire. Oh. This must be the cooking competition.

  As I watch, R'jaal uses a cup to scoop a bit of…whatever it is in front of him and offers it to T'chai's mate, Mari. Mari takes a tiny sip, and immediately acts as if she's poisoned. Her hand goes to the back of her mouth and she runs away, gasping. Everyone laughs. T'chai takes the cup of shrimp tea that Penny hands him and heads after his mate, grinning.

  "She did say she wanted to try it," Brooke teases, her voice raising over the din. "When she comes back, tell her she can eat my delicious cakes to wash that nasty taste out of her mouth."

  "Hey! We have another person who needs to sample food right here," calls Lauren, pushing through the group to grab my hand. "You're just in time, Bridget."

  Oh, jeez. "No, really, I don't think I should play," I stammer. My stomach growls despite things, and Lauren puts a friendly arm on my shoulders. "Really," I protest. "I was in the contest. It wouldn't be fair."

  "No, no, everyone gets to taste," Lauren calls out, and the group is laughing again. I relax a little, because at least they're not laughing at me. Instead, it looks like the entire camp is having a good time tasting things. One of Raahosh's little girls hovers over Brooke's shoulder, clearly waiting for samples, and others are crowded around just having a good time. Even R'jaal and I'rec are amused, and O'jek is smiling. I don't know if I've ever seen O'jek smile, but he must enjoy having Daisy as a partner more than me.

  I look around for my “partner,” A'tam, but he's nowhere to be seen. That's just as well. I don't need everyone speculating on how things are between us.

  "Explain the rules," Sam calls out, her hands cupped to her mouth. She sits squeezed between Flor and Harlow.

  "I'm getting there!" Lauren says, laughing. She steers me toward the first “station,” where Daisy and O'jek sit. "Okay. Each team has to create a culinary masterpiece for everyone to try. They can use anything in camp, but the rules are that it has to be edible. No ruining food. And you have to make enough for everyone. So you taste each one, and whoever comes in first place gets four points, second place three, third two, et cetera. Whoever has the least points at the end of the day is knocked out of the competition…and has to eat the leftovers."

  I put my hand to my mouth, trying not to giggle at the thought. That is a pretty funny punishment, and a fitting one given that no one likes to waste food at all. I think of the face Mari made as she tasted R'jaal and I'rec's creation and suspect I already know who's going to lose. Games and having fun are what get everyone through the long brutal season, though, and I want to join in. Despite my initial reluctance, I'm drawn into the playfulness.

  "A
ll right, are you ready to taste?" Lauren asks me. She waves a hand, and her mate, K'thar, comes forward with a freshly cleaned plate and cup for me to use. I thank him with a smile and nod at her. She gestures to Daisy and O'jek. "Sample number one. Why don't you tell them all about it, you two?"

  Daisy looks over at O'jek.

  He frowns, as if it's obvious. He gestures at the bowl. "It is food."

  Chuckles erupt. Daisy nudges him with her shoulder, giggling. "You're supposed to sell it up, remember?"

  O'jek gives me a toothy smile. "Fresh food."

  Daisy leans on him, full of laughter, her head in his shoulder. O'jek glances over at her and I could swear he blushes. Oh boy. No wonder he hated having me as a partner. He's clearly crushing on Daisy…but who isn't? She's fucking adorable, which I hate. O'jek must really be annoyed that A'tam's sleeping with her, then. Maybe that's why he looks so darn uncomfortable.

  Maybe this is why A'tam isn't here. He doesn't like seeing Daisy flirt with O'jek. Then again, I don't, either. Isn't she supposed to be with A'tam?

  And if A'tam's so damn in love with me and I'm the “one,” how come he jumped right to her the moment she arrived?

  I have no answers, and it hurts to try to think through it, so I decide to be the bigger person. I clear my throat and hold my plate out. "May I try your fresh food?"

  Daisy serves up a bit for me. "It's a stew," she says, her eyes twinkling with amusement, her cheeks pink from the crisp air. "A lovely, lightly simmered stew of hopper with diced not-potato and just a hint of herbs to give it a kick."

  "It's lovely," I say, sniffing the bit that's put on my plate. Penny rushes over and hands me a carved spoon, and I poke at the bits. They do smell fragrant and herby, and my mouth waters. I haven't eaten anything since last night and I'm ready. I take a big bite…and immediately have regrets. There are a lot of herbs. Like, far too many. They taste strong and overwhelming and I cough, just a little.

  Someone snickers.

  "How is it?" Daisy asks.

  I manage to swallow. "A little strong," I say, my eyes watering. I dab at them as politely as I can, using my sleeve. I don't want to be unfair, though. "But that's just my opinion. I bet it tastes great to sa-khui and islander tongues."

  "So diplomatic," Lauren says, grinning. A ripple of laughter breaks out again.

  "It does not taste good to islander tongues either," chimes in U'dron.

  There's more laughter, and Daisy breaks into another fit of musical giggles. Even O'jek's sheepish expression isn't hurt or angry, and I'm relieved. Everyone's just having fun. Nothing here will be used against anyone in the future, I hope. It makes me a little uneasy, though. I'm glad that I'm not in this portion of the competition, because I'd find it too stressful.

  Brooke and Taushen's seed cakes are, of course, tasty. They're a perfect blend of texture flavored with a little bit of salty meat and fat. It's not something I thought I would enjoy prior to landing here, but it's quickly become one of my favorites. "Really good," I say, smiling at them as I lick my fingers. "Really, really good."

  "My mother's recipe," the sa-khui hunter says proudly, and Brooke rubs his arm in an affectionate touch.

  I'm smiling as I move on to the next station, and it's R'jaal and I'rec. Their meal doesn't look like any stew I've ever had, and I quickly realize that the reason why it's so funny to everyone is that it's clear that these alien men aren't cooks. "Um…do you want to tell me about it?"

  I can hear people giggling in the background. R'jaal lifts his chin, but he's taking it all in good-natured stride. "I would like to tell you that back on Tall Horn beach, we did not 'cook.' We ate our fish raw like strong hunters."

  "We did at Shadow Cat as well," I'rec adds. He flicks an impatient hand at the bowl in front of them. "This is stew."

  I feel as if there should be a question mark there. I wince as I hold my plate out and they slop a large portion onto my plate. Like, a really large portion. I blanch as I see a fish-head in the mix. "Oh…boy."

  "We eat everything," I'rec says. "All food is good food. No bite is wasted."

  There's a lot of laughter on the beach, but I actually feel bad for them. I know what it's like to be pushed into something out of your element and have to take the chuckles of others with grace. I know these two don't like each other. but they both want to win the knife and so they're trying hard to get along. Gamely, I poke at an unpeeled chunk of root and a bit of meat that has fish-bone sticking out of it. It looks hideous, but I want to like it, for their sakes. So I take a big bite of root, chew quickly, and then take a bite of fish and pull the bones out of my mouth.

  It's awful. The fish is raw in the middle, the root is undercooked and bitter, and my throat works, hard. I give them a thumbs-up and both of their faces brighten, even as the crowd erupts into more laughter. "It's a very hearty stew," I say when I can finally swallow.

  There's lots of good-natured ribbing and calls of “liar!” amidst the laughter. R'jaal and I'rec look pleased, though, and I quickly move over to Bek and Elly, avoiding the rest of the stew on my plate.

  Elly gives me the shyest smile ever, and I just want to hug her. She's such a delicate, fragile thing, with big eyes and a quiet nature. Bek hovers over her constantly, and I would find that absolutely and completely overbearing, but Elly loves it. I never see them separated, and I think they're a really happy pairing. Even now, Bek strokes Elly's slender arm as she turns over a sizzling piece of meat with carved bone tongs.

  "Do you want to tell us about it, guys?" Lauren asks, and her tone is gentle and kind. It's like we all take baby steps around Elly, because she's just that fragile.

  Elly bites her lip and looks at her mate, who gives her an encouraging, proud look. She turns back to me. "If you boil a small amount of hraku seeds with dried fruit and add it to not-potato, the root takes on a sweetness. I made a glaze and…" She gestures at the meat. "Barbecue."

  "Sa-khui bar-buh-cue," Bek says. "It is Stay-see's invention, but my Ell-ee puts her own ways into it."

  I take a strip of meat and sniff it. It's a little sticky, but it smells slightly sweet, like jam. I take a bite, and even though the meat is a little tough and gamey, like a lot of the dvisti meat, the flavor is perfection. I bite back a little sigh of pleasure and cram the entire strip into my mouth. "Can I have seconds?"

  Her smile lights up, but she shakes her head.

  "There is just enough for the game," Bek says, speaking for his mate. He touches her hair and gives her a look of such achingly sweet pride that I want to cry. Why can't A'tam be more like this?

  "All right," Lauren says brightly, steering me back to the front of the group. "Now, which one is number one?"

  Oh god. I stare out at the group of eager faces. "Um…Bek and Elly."

  There's a cheer and a smattering of applause, as if I've picked what everyone was expecting.

  "And second?"

  I swallow hard. Who to pick? Brooke and Taushen's food was good and they should be second, but I find myself oddly sympathetic for R'jaal and I'rec. "Um…the fish stew."

  Hoots of laughter erupt. Even Lauren looks surprised at my decision, but R'jaal and I'rec are pleased. "Okay, third?" Lauren prompts.

  If I don't pick O'jek and Daisy, it'll seem like I'm doing it on purpose. So I pick them.

  "Robbed!" Brooke cries, mock-shaking a fist in the air.

  "Send her back to the healer," Thrand calls out, laughing. "Clearly she hit her head!" His mate Nadine taps him on the arm, rolling her eyes at him.

  I flinch at that, though I try to keep smiling. No matter what I do, it seems I can't do the right thing. It's so frustrating. I tried to spare R'jaal and I'rec and now I've given the rest of the group something to use against me.

  "We'll take the hit. You're still in last place, suckers," Brooke taunts the two men, grinning.

  "Bah, we will give the remains to the outcast," I'rec says. "He should be glad to get any food."

  "Oh no you won't," Steph says indignantly. "
We're trying to get him to join us, not run in the other direction."

  More laughter erupts through the camp.

  "Am I good?" I ask with a bright smile on my face. I'm pretending to have fun, but I really just want to get away. I hate that I've potentially hurt feelings and that I've made a fool of myself in the process. It feels like everything's working against me, which is just ridiculous.

  "Sure," Lauren says, smiling. "Thanks for playing. You want seconds—"

  "No," I say quickly, and everyone around the fire erupts into laughter again. I smile and slide out of the group, and once I'm at the edge of the shore, I feel like I can breathe again. I take a few gulps of fresh air, trying to calm my mind, and gaze out at the water. No signs of Pak or Juth, which isn't all that surprising. It's too early in the afternoon for them. I almost wish Pak was around, watching me work on clay, so I'd have an excuse to avoid everyone else. Going back to the women's cave would mean cutting through the crowd, and I just want to avoid them and any questions.

  There's a plume of smoke coming from Raven's hut. She wasn't at the food game, I realize, and so I head toward toward her hut. As I do, though, A'tam opens the flap to his hut and comes out.

  Shit. Talk about bad timing.

  I bite back a growl of frustration when he sees me and starts in my direction.

  "B'shit," he says, approaching. "Are you well? What did the healer say?" He eyes me with concern, and I don't know if that makes things better or worse. "Here," he tells me, shrugging off his cloak. "Take this. You are cold."

  "I'm fine, really," I say, even as he drapes it around my shoulders. "You don't have to do that."

  "I do not have to do anything, yet I would like for you to be warm," he tells me. There is none of his argumentative tone today. Instead, he sounds…thoughtful? Distracted? I don't know what to make of it. His gaze moves to the group on the beach as another ripple of laughter starts. "What are they doing?"