Bridget's Bane: A SciFi Alien Romance Read online

  —and that's a path that ends badly, I remind myself.

  But he's looking down at me with gentle, patient eyes. As if he knows I've been pushed beyond my limits and he can't push me any further. I think about how I want to spend tonight, too. Do I want to go back to the women's cave? Squeeze in with Pak and Juth? Or spend the night snuggling with A'tam? I hesitate, and then make my choice, putting a hand on his chest. "If we touch tonight, we need to leave our clothes on," I tell him. "No sex."

  I fully expect him to say no. I fully expect him to sneer at my suggestion, or storm away. That is the A'tam I know. But he looks down at me, thoughtful, and finally nods. "If this is what you need, this is what we will do."

  And he grabs my hand.

  I'm a little flabbergasted that he agrees so easily. Before, I've had to fight tooth and nail for every inch, and yet he agreed just like that? I follow behind him as he leads me toward the rocks instead of the cluster of huts on the opposite end of the beach. "Where are we going?"

  "Someplace quiet. Private." He moves quickly, as if he knows just where he wants to go, and I follow behind out of sheer curiosity. Well, that, and more than a little lust.

  "What about your hut?"

  "Too far." He heads to the nearest cluster of rocks at the base of one of the cliffs and leans against it. The moment he does, he tugs me forward and pulls me into his arms. His tail locks around my waist and then his hands are all over me, caressing, as he captures my mouth with his.

  Oh. For a moment, I'm utterly still, overwhelmed by his hunger. A'tam's big hands are on my ass, gripping it and hauling me against his lean, hard body. He kisses me with impatience, his mouth nipping at mine in a silent request for me to open up to him. His khui hums and sings just as loudly as ever, drowning out everything but A'tam and the pounding of my heart.

  "Right…right here?" I manage between his frantic kisses.

  "Right here." He nips at my lower lip.

  I bite back a moan. His touch feels incredible, but I still feel open and vulnerable here on the beach. "Someone will see us," I protest, even as I slide my arm around his shoulders. "Someone is going to hear us."

  "No," he says, nipping at my chin. "They do not know we are here. The waves will drown us out."

  I don't know if I believe that. I grab a thick handful of his hair and tilt his head back, knowing this will make him groan, and I press a kiss to his throat.

  A'tam groans, all right. Loudly. I scrape my teeth against his neck and then lift my head, looking around. Waiting.

  The low conversation by the fire never stops. No one comes over to check out what's going on. "See?" he says, dragging me against him and nuzzling at my cheek. "You are all mine."

  "Should we be doing this right here?" I whisper as he settles back a little more on the rocks. I'm practically leaning over him, and it's not the most comfortable of positions, but I'm not about to move. Not when it feels this good to be pressed against his body.

  "Do you want to go behind the rocks?" he asks. "You will get sand in uncomfortable places and the shell-walkers will pinch this tender skin of yours." As if to prove his point, he pinches my butt.

  I squirm against his hand, and A'tam takes this opportunity to haul me up against him. My thighs spread over his hips and then I'm straddling him, layers of clothing the only thing separating my pussy from his monster cock.

  I whimper, a little panicked.

  "Relax, my pretty mate," A'tam murmurs, stroking my wind-blown hair back from my face. There's such a tender look in his eyes that it takes my breath away. "We keep our clothes on, remember? Just as you asked. I just want to touch you." He leans in and rubs his nose against my jaw. "I want to enjoy the feel of you against me."

  I relax at that. Clothes on, I can handle. "This is like before," I whisper as he presses his mouth to my neck. "When we used to make out."

  "Mmm. I liked before," he murmurs, and sucks on my skin in a tender spot.

  I gasp, my fingers curling tight against his scalp. My nipples harden in response and my khui hums louder than ever. Without realizing what I'm doing, I rock my hips against his.

  A'tam freezes under me, his hands tightening. "B'shit—"

  I put a hand over his mouth. I don't want to hear him mangle my name, not in this moment. "Do you want me to stay still?"

  "No," he says against my fingers, and licks them.

  I bite back a moan and rock my hips against his length again. I'm not afraid of touching him, not if he promises to keep it in his pants—literally. It allows me to feel free to explore him like I want, to take the pleasure and not have to worry about more than that. I bury my hands in his thick hair and pull his mouth to mine, kissing him. When his tongue strokes into my mouth, I meet it with my own, flicking and letting him know that I'm his in this moment.

  A'tam groans and grabs my ass. He drags me against his cock, working me against him, and I whimper into his mouth. Oh god, that feels incredible. Like this, his enormous length is a bonus. I rub myself against him through the leather of my leggings, not caring that I'm soaking them with my arousal. He lifts me higher, spearing me against his length, but the thin, soft leather prevents penetration, and it just feels wicked and so damn right. I kiss him harder, rocking against him with frantic need. I don't care that we're dry humping on the beach, or that the little grunts he's making are getting louder by the moment. He works my hips, thrusting against my covered pussy, as our mouths frantically make up the lack.

  A hot, needy little spiral of pleasure starts in my belly and I whimper. "A'tam," I breathe. I cling to him, forgetting all about kisses as I press my face against his and work myself against his thrusting cock. "I need…I need…"

  "I have you," he growls into my ear, and the sound is low and sexy and possessive. "I will not let go."

  Everything keeps tightening, slowly, and I ache deep inside, as if I'm hollow and I need to be filled. I ignore it, grinding down against him even as he slams my hips against his length.

  "Mine," he says as he holds me. "Mine. Mine."

  And he grinds me down against his length so hard it's a wonder the leather doesn't split.

  I let out a needy little choked sound as the orgasm, soft and elusive, surfaces. I dig my fingernails into his scalp, pressing against his face as he bites along my jaw and throat, and rock hard—so hard—against his cock. Release shivers through me, and I didn't realize how badly I needed that until hot tears slide down my cheeks and my body shudders all over.

  Is…that the first orgasm I've had since I got here?

  Panting, I cling to him, my body quaking with tiny little aftershocks. It wasn't the strongest orgasm I've ever had, and I suspect it won't last. Already, my khui is purring and screaming for more. But I decide to wallow in this moment for a few, letting out a sated breath and clinging to A'tam as I tremble.

  "You…you…" He seems at a loss for words.

  "Yeah," I say softly, and kiss his face. I kiss along his furry jaw, then press light, flirty kisses against his parted lips. It's like now that I've come, I want nothing more than to be affectionate and touchy-feely. I slide my hands up and down his arms, just rubbing and touching. "Thank you."

  A'tam watches me with a thoughtful expression on his face. "Will you come sleep in my furs tonight?" When I hesitate, he adds, "Just sleep. Nothing more."

  I lick my lips. The thought of curling up and sleeping in his arms sounds like bliss, especially if all we do is sleep. Normally I wouldn't trust a guy who says “just sleep,” but for some reason, I believe A'tam. Maybe it's his thoughtful expression as he regards me, as if he has a lot of thinking to do. "Aren't you sleeping in O'jek's hut?"

  "I asked D'see to sleep elsewhere. She is taking O'jek's hut and he will bunk with I'rec." He strokes my back, as if petting me. "I do not like that it hurt you to have D'see in my hut. I thought only of driving you back into my arms."

  "It's okay," I tell him with another kiss, because I'm feeling languid and kind of wonderful. "And we can go to your
hut, sure."

  27

  A'TAM

  A short time later, my mate is cuddled up against me in my furs, fast asleep.

  I cannot sleep. My cock aches, and my mind is full of strange thoughts. I did not take any release for myself this night—the idea left my mind the moment she came, her body quaking and a look of sheer bliss on her face.

  It was the first time I have ever seen that expression on B'shit.

  This troubles me.

  Have I never made her come before? I thought she enjoyed my touch. We have kissed and pleasured many times. And I claimed her in the furs, once, but I do not recall her body quaking around mine. I do not recall the look of utter joy on her face, or her eyes filling with tears as her release overwhelms her. I do not remember being peppered by affectionate kisses afterward, or little touches that tell me how good she feels.

  I do not remember this at all, and this troubles me.

  I glance down at the female sleeping in my arms. Her lips are parted, her face pressed to my chest. She is completely relaxed, and her khui hums a gentle, sleepy song to my more urgent one. The scent of her is intoxicating. Even though she still wears her leathers, I can smell her need. I can smell her arousal and her body's release, and it makes my cock achingly hard. As she sleeps, I brush my knuckles over her cheek and she smiles slightly, as if even that small touch pleases her.

  She is so happy. We did not even touch properly, and yet she is so happy.

  It gives me a strange ache in my spirit to see her contentment. Why is it just now that I see it? Am I truly that impatient and pushy of a male that I have been concerned with only my needs and not hers? I try to think of times I have pushed for her pleasure only, instead of mine as well.

  Other than tonight, I can think of nothing. That is…concerning. Am I selfish? I gaze down at my mate. She will not tell me until tomorrow. This means I will sleep very little tonight. My mind will not be able to stop turning over thoughts, again and again, worrying them like a bit of tough meat left on a bone.

  B'shit shivers against me, burrowing closer, and I tuck the furs tight around her body. There is a breeze in my hut, I realize. A breeze in my hut, and some of the spaces between the floor boards are so wide my tail threatens to fall through. My hut is…haphazard. I did not take my time to work on it as I should have. I started late and rushed so I could get it done quickly, thinking it would lure my female into my furs. It did, but nothing has gone right since then.

  I think of U'dron, who took far too much time with his hut, smoothing out boards so they would fit together just right, selecting rocks of similar shapes and sizes so his walls would be symmetrical and even. It took him longer than anyone to finish his hut, yet he did not seem worried about it. Now, his hut is far grander than mine, and his resonance mate moans and cries out so loudly that I can hear them mating from the inside of my hut. R'ven calls out his name over and over again, and I cannot hear his responses, but she is either being destroyed by his cock or she is experiencing intense pleasure. Given that she makes these sounds almost every night, it has to be the latter.

  And I am…envious.

  I have never been jealous of U'dron in the past. He is a good friend and pleasant to be around, but he is not as handsome as me. His sense of smell is not as keen as mine, and until recently, he was not a true hunter. I am the best hunter of Shadow Cat clan. I am the most charming…and yet, my mate does not want me, while U'dron's mate cries out that he needs to take her harder.

  I hold B'shit closer. When we mated, she did not make loud sounds like that. She did not cry for me to take her harder. She was…silent, and I did not stop to ask.

  I wonder if my impatience has stolen everything from me, or if it is not too late. I suppose I will find out in the morning.

  I am not looking forward to it.

  Even with B'shit tucked against my side, I do not sleep well. I wake up to my cock throbbing and angry, my khui's song an unsatisfied drone in my ears. I get up and start the fire, and notice how small and cramped my fire pit is compared to U'dron's expansive one in his hut. I barely have room to put a tripod over the flames to make tea. I did not care when I made the hut, because I always have tea by the fire so I can flirt with B'shit. Today, though, I wish to make food for my mate and my hut is not equipped for it. It adds to my frustration.

  B'shit is quiet this morning, too. Perhaps she thinks of this talk-space we are going to do with S'teph. Perhaps she regrets our touches last night by the rocks. She does not share her thoughts, and my sour mood only grows worse.

  I add some meltwater to the pouch over the fire, frowning at the realization that there are far too many tea leaves in the pouch, when suddenly, B'shit is at my side. She puts her hands on my shoulders, leans over, and gives me a soft, sweet kiss. "Thank you, A'tam."

  I grunt, but my mood is already improving at her touch. "Why do you thank me?"

  "Because I know you don't want to do this but it's important to me." She gives me another kiss, her lips teasing against mine. "It makes me feel like maybe we can figure things out after all."

  "Of course we can." But I feel guilty that I am ready to toss the pouch of tea into the fire and give up. It is my impatience, rising again. I kiss her, and when she pulls back and smiles, I make a suggestion. "Go and find your friend. I will make proper tea for when you return."

  "You want to start now? This early?"

  I shrug. "Is there any sense in waiting?"

  She bites her lip, thinking. "I guess not. Okay, wait here." She gives me one more quick kiss and then gets to her feet, grabbing her boots. She slips out of my hut, leaving me alone with my poorly set-up tea and my aching cock. I hear her pause to talk to someone outside, her voice low and somewhat impatient, and so I take myself in hand and work my cock until my seed spatters upon the fire. The coals hiss at me, as if mocking that I cannot wait for my mate. Impatient, it whispers silently.

  So I am. I am starting to realize that now.

  I dress in fresh leathers and tidy my hut, since S'teph will be joining us and I do not wish for her to think B'shit has a poor mate. I set my tripod up again, and make fresh tea, this time ensuring I put in the right amount of leaves to mix with the meltwater. I do not want to make my mate sick with bad tea. Not when she is just now starting to smile at me again.

  I can be patient, I tell myself. I can. If B'shit responds to me like she did last night, I will be the most patient of hunters ever.

  By the time the hut is straightened and the tea's fragrance fills my home, B'shit returns, an uncertain look on her face. She is followed by S'teph, the one who shows such interest in the outcast clan. She is a bland female—not nearly as beautiful and clever as my B'shit—but I suppose she is nice enough. "Welcome," I say, and try to keep the sourness from my voice.

  S'teph gives us both a warm smile as she ducks inside. "Just so you guys know, there's no one around to overhear. Both Raven and U'dron are taking a walk on the beach and the others of Shadow Cat clan have gone off hunting. We can talk freely."

  I shrug. I do not care who hears my words. I have nothing to hide.

  B'shit sits next to me, and smooths her hands along the hem of her tunic. She is nervous, I realize. She will not look me in the eye and she cannot keep her hands still. I want to reach over and place my hand over hers, to stop her fidgeting, but I do not think she would like that. She seems…very tense, and I feel somehow as if I am to blame.

  "All right." Steph smiles. "A'tam, why don't you make tea for us while I talk a little about how this will work?"

  "Tea is made," I say grumpily. I grab the carved cup that I have and dip it into the pouch, then hold it out for B'shit. When she declines, I offer it to S'teph.

  "Thank you so much," S'teph says in that mild, too sweet voice of hers. "I didn't realize we were ahead. All right, then. Let's keep this simple. When we get together, this is a safe space to talk. There's no judgment here, just a search for understanding. There are no right or wrong answers, and the goal is t
o be truthful more than anything, even if it's hard. I've found that sometimes it's easier if there's a physical aspect to things." She pulls something out of her bundled furs, and I am surprised to see it is a foot-sized length of wood, crisscrossed with leather and decorated with a few shells. "This is your secrets stick."

  She holds it out to us. B'shit looks over at me and then hesitantly reaches for it. "What's it for?"

  S'teph gestures at it. "When you hold this, you're allowed to speak your secrets without fear of reprisal. When your partner—that's you, A'tam," she says, tapping on the floor in my direction, "holds the stick, they are going to be telling you vulnerable things. Things that hurt them or bother them, that they don't feel comfortable sharing normally. It's very hard to give up painful secrets or to talk about things that we want to tuck away. When you hold this stick, it's a reminder to you that it's safe to share, and it's a reminder to your partner that what is being shared while the stick is held is never, ever to leave this room. Do you understand?"

  It sounds foolish to me. I have never had problems sharing how I feel. I shrug and look over at B'shit.

  She looks…greenish. Upset. Pale. She stares down at the stick as if it will bite her. I do not like that she is so worried. "We do not need this wood," I say, putting a hand on my mate's arm. "I have no secrets."

  "Bridget?" S'teph asks in a soft voice. "Do you want to get rid of it, then?"

  My mate licks her lips. She stares down at it for a moment, then shakes her head. "No," she says softly. "No, I think I need it." And she clutches it to her chest.

  I frown over at her. Why does she not tell me what she thinks? Why does she hide everything?

  S'teph gives us a broad smile. "All right, then. Shall we start? I want you both to feel comfortable talking in front of me, and to each other. Like I said, there are no wrong answers, just different perspectives."