Bridget's Bane: A SciFi Alien Romance Read online

  Her eyes are wide as she moves forward. Behind her, I see Angie exiting out of the cave and I hope against hopes that she's not going to go tell everyone that I'm resonating. It'll be all over camp by the morning and then I'll never get any peace. Not that I'm getting any peace right now. Flor has a shocked look on her face and she taps her breastbone. "Are you…"

  "No?"

  As if my khui can hear that, it thrums even harder and totally makes a liar out of me.

  I grimace. "Okay, maybe."

  "Oh my god," she whisper-hisses, dropping to her knees beside my bunk. "Who is it? Not I'rec, is it? Ugh. Or O'jek?" Her eyes narrow. "Is it R'jaal?"

  "It's A'tam." When she nearly shrieks, I grab her hands and shake my head at her. "Don't say fucking anything! I don't want anyone to know!"

  "Why not?" Flor looks confused. "Aren't you sneaking out to be with him every night?"

  I bite my lip. Shit. That's right. Everyone thinks that when I sneak away to my pottery cave, I'm hooking up with A'tam again. I wanted to leave the lie in place until I got my pottery all worked out, but that's taking longer than I anticipated. It's either confess the truth and sound like an idiot or keep on lying. "I know," I say, which is a non-answer. "It's just…complicated."

  "Well, this is exciting!" Flor grabs my hands, grinning. "It's what you wanted, right? Even if you're a little uncertain. You'll be a great mom. I promise." She squeezes my hands and looks so envious. "It couldn't have worked out better for you if you tried."

  "I know, right?" I manage a wobbly smile. "It's just…kinda new. And overwhelming."

  "I've got just the thing for a wedding night!" Flor gives an excited little shimmy. "Wait here!"

  Oh god.

  She heads over to her bunk and digs through the craft basket at the foot of her furs. A moment later, she returns to my side, beaming, and holds a pink bundle out to me. "This is for you."

  "Oh," I say, and take it from her. Even if it makes me cringe to get a wedding present, I'm still touched by my friend's thoughtfulness. Clothing is a fuckton harder to come by here than it is back home. At home you can just show up to the nearest store, peruse the racks, and walk away with perfectly fitting jeans and a variety of tops after an hour of searching. Here, you have to scrape your hides, soften them into leather, dye them, cut them, sew them (and make sinew thread), and lord help you if you mess up a step along the way. It is an absolute beast of a process and a gift like clothing is absolutely touching. "Oh Flor, you shouldn't have. I…oh."

  I lift up one of the pieces of clothing. It's the world's smallest, puffiest pink skirt.

  She giggles and claps her hands. "It's from a dye experiment! Devi and Brooke were trying for red and it didn't stick. I liked the pink, though, so I asked for it. Check out the bra, too!"

  I pull out the second piece. It's darker, thicker leather with no fur, and just a pink hint to the brown. It looks like a real bra, too, for all that it's made of leather. The straps across the shoulders are tiny and flirty, and it fastens in the front with a big leather knot. It won't hold my tits up for shit, but for sexy lingerie? It'll absolutely do the trick.

  "Oh wow. Flor, you're so sweet." I clutch the clothing to my chest, utterly touched. "I don't know if A'tam is worth all this trouble, but I'm so impressed."

  "Even if he's not, you are." She smiles at me. "After all the shit we've been through, we just all deserve a little bit of happiness, you know?"

  "I absolutely agree." I just wish mine didn't seem so determined to be complicated.

  25

  BRIDGET

  After I talk with Flor for a little, I make an excuse that I need some time to myself. I head out in the direction of the camp toilets, at the far end of one of the narrow canyons, and then take a long, winding path around to my pottery cave. I'll light a fire, throw on a few candles, eat some of the snacks I have stored there, and work on a new pot while I try to figure out the mess inside my head.

  I'm so damn ready for five minutes alone.

  When I get into the cave, though, I stumble over a furry mound at the doorstep. With a squeak of distress, I face-plant onto the hard rock of the floor, even as glowing blue eyes narrow and gaze at me. A moment later, there's the pointed prick of a knife at my throat.

  I swallow hard. "Um…who is this?"

  A second pair of khui-blue eyes blink, and I hear a bone-cracking yawn. A small hand pats my arm. "Breecht," Pak says in a sleepy voice.

  I let out a sigh of relief. "Jesus Christ, it's you, Pak." I glare at the second pair of blue eyes, because today is not the day. "And you must be Dad."

  "Dada," Pak agrees. "Dada Pak Breecht."

  "Right. I did say you could sleep here, didn't I?" Gingerly, I take the knife by the blade and tug it away from my throat. "Can we not do that? Thanks. I'm just here to do pottery and mope, though I guess that's off the menu if you guys are crashing here."

  "Breecht," Pak says again with a yawn.

  "That's me," I agree, sitting up. The smack onto the rocky floor of the cave didn't exactly help my mood, and now I've got a sore shoulder to boot. I rotate it a little, noticing that Dad's eyes stay locked on me in the dark, as if I'm a threat. "Sorry to interrupt nap time." I reach back to the rock shelf where I keep my candles and the striker, and light one up, just so they can see my face.

  Sure enough, Pak and his dad are squeezed into my cave. They're using the extra furs I have in here for the nights when things get cold—furs that A'tam brought me, no less. And a quick glance over at my snack basket shows that it's been totally cleaned out. I can't be mad at that, though. We leave out food for them in baskets. They probably think any food laying around is fair game.

  Pak's Dad—Juth—doesn't look thrilled for me to be here. He watches me with a wary expression, unlike Pak's open and trusting one. He looks at me as if I'm the one intruding, and I feel a little ridiculous. "I didn't realize you guys were here," I say quietly, knowing they can't understand me. "I'll go." I gesture to myself, then to the cave mouth. "I'll leave. You two stay here and keep warm. It's going to be cold tonight. Build a fire if you like." I point to the fire pit. "Actually, if you want me to build one for you—"

  A low snarl echoes in from the entrance of the cave. Immediately, my khui starts thrumming madly, overwhelming my thoughts. I blank out, forgetting everything.

  "B'shit," A'tam hisses as he stalks inside. He glares at Pak and Juth furiously. "She is my mate. Get away from her." His hands curl, his claws evident. "Mine!"

  "Whoa, whoa, whoa." I jump to my feet, smack my head on the low ceiling of the cave, and wince. "A'tam, it's just a misunderstanding—"

  "Your cheek bleeds. Who did this?" He pushes his way into the small cave, his presence overwhelming, and reaches over to touch my cheek with exquisitely tender fingers. "They hurt you?"

  "No," I say softly. I'm trapped by the intensity in his eyes, the mixture of terror and longing and protective need. He's truly worried about me. "I tripped, A'tam. That's all it is."

  I watch his nostrils flare as he tries to control his emotions. I know the khui is making us both a little crazy. Mine is singing so loud that it feels as if the entire cave is vibrating, and his is joining in. He gazes down at me, then forces himself to glance at his surroundings, at the too-crowded cave. "Do you want me to make them leave? So you can work?"

  For some reason, that melts me. It's absolutely a dick move and yet he'd do it for me, just because I'm way more important to him than anything else. I put my hand on his chest. "A'tam, no. I offered to let them stay here when it's cold. They took me up on it. Please don't get upset."

  His handsome face looks frustrated. "I do not like that they are taking this away from you. I want to fix it."

  And I melt a little more. This is the A'tam I'm head over heels for, the protective-despite-politeness guy who wants to do what's best for me and not what's best for everyone around me. It makes me feel…understood.

  I shake my head. "I invited them to stay when it gets cold. They're ab
solutely allowed to be here. I don't have to work on pottery tonight. It's not like I'm getting anywhere with it after all." I shrug and then reach down to take his hand. "They won't touch it, and if they do, it's nothing that can't be rebuilt." I don't mention that they ate all my snacks or that the furs they're bundled in are mine, too. It doesn't matter, and I'd gladly share with them. I like to think that A'tam would, too, if he was thinking clearly.

  Instead, he just keeps staring down at me with that hungry look in his eyes. As if nothing matters in the world but me. Maybe nothing does; his khui's singing as loud as mine, and our joined songs are drowning out all my thoughts.

  Pak rubs his eyes, sleepy, and yawns.

  Right. They're trying to sleep, and it's getting late. I tug on A'tam's hand and pull him out of the cave. "Come on."

  "I do not like that they are taking your things," he tells me as we get outside. "That is your cave, B'shit—"

  Hearing my name is like a record-scratch moment. I wince and release his hand. "It is my cave. I went there because I wanted some privacy and a chance to think. Which makes me wonder…why exactly were you there? Were you following me?"

  "Of course I was." A'tam looks at me as if I'm crazed. "I cannot get you out of my mind." He clenches a hand over his heart. "You dwell right here, and every beat of my heart reminds me that I need you. That you are my mate. That you belong to me, and I belong to you."

  Just like that, my irritation melts away. "It's hard to stay angry when you say such nice things," I grumble.

  "Then I will tell you all kinds of things," he vows. "Just stay at my side."

  Reluctantly, I hold my hand out again. If I can't have privacy, I might as well spend this time talking to A'tam about our situation. I'm not ready to join the night owls near the fire, and it's too soon for me to head back to the sleeping cave. "Will you walk with me by the beach? I need to think."

  "And you wish for me to go with you?" A'tam looks surprised.

  I give him a reluctant smile. "For some reason, I feel like I'm thinking better with you at my side instead of separated."

  "It is resonance," he declares, as if he's such an expert. As if he's done this a dozen times. "It wants us to be together."

  "I know." And I'm too tired to think about what that means for my future. I'm mentally exhausted, the scrape on my cheek is burning, and I'm just…tired. I'll rail against my fate some other time, but for now, it feels good for A'tam to hold my hand. We stand outside the cave in the darkness, and I glance up at him. "So is that a yes? You'll go with me?"

  He grins, and my heart does a weird little flip…and then my khui starts up again. "Of course I will."

  I glance down the sands to the encampment, and the fire. The quickest way to the beach is to cut through, but that's absolutely the last thing I want to do. "Can we go the long way? I don't want to see the others right now."

  A'tam nods, and I'm relieved he doesn't argue or push his way. I know he wants to go shout to the world that we've resonated, but I'm feeling a little fragile and want to get used to the idea myself before I share it with everyone. I think of Flor and her gift of lingerie, and my face heats. If only she knew how inappropriate that gift was. Thoughtful, but the last thing I want to do is seduce A'tam and his mutant cock.

  "B'shit? How is your ankle?"

  I look over at him, frowning. "Huh?"

  "It hurt this morning? And your back?" He drops to his knees next to me on the sand and touches my ankle, his fingers caressing my skin. "Should you walk on it? Do you need to rest?"

  Oh. Oh wow. It's been such a long damn day that I've forgotten that I started this morning in a private cave with him in the hills and my biggest problem was that I wanted him despite his monster cock. Now things are a whole hell of a lot more confusing. My ankle is the least of my worries. "I'm okay," I say. "My shoulder hurts a little." I touch my cheek, where I scraped it. "Am I still bleeding?"

  "Your shoulder? Do you need to go back to the healer?" A'tam jumps to his feet, lightly running his fingers over my collarbone. "Where does it hurt?"

  I shake my head. "I'm okay. I just fell on it in the pottery cave." It's the wrong thing to say because his expression immediately darkens, as if I've just reminded him that Pak and Juth are there. "Let's just walk, okay?"

  "In a moment." He moves closer and puts a hand under my chin, tilting my head up to the moonlight. He studies my cheek and then licks his thumb and glides it over my cheekbone.

  I shiver. It's something I've seen moms do on television—not that my mother would have ever deigned to do such a thing—but that small gesture coming from A'tam? It is anything but motherly. Protective, yes. Seductive? Absolutely.

  He gently strokes his fingers over my stinging cheek, wiping away any blood. "There. You are beautiful once more."

  My breath catches. "Am I beautiful to you, then? Even though I'm human?"

  "You have to ask?"

  "This is me. Of course I have to ask."

  He laughs. "Yes, you are very beautiful. There is nothing I like so much as gazing at you."

  "More beautiful than Daisy?" I ask, mock-innocent.

  A'tam groans, now that he realizes he's fallen into a trap. He shakes his head, then takes my hand and we head toward the beach—the long way, just as I requested—and skirt wide around camp. In the shadows, no one will see us. "I have never touched her, my fierce little kaari. After we kissed the first time, I never wanted another. Not even for a day. Not even for a moment. You are the only female I have been interested in." He glances over at me. "What about you? You picked O'jek as your partner."

  "And he promptly abandoned me," I remind him. "What was I supposed to do? Daisy picked you first."

  "You could have told her to pick someone else," A'tam says, as if that's the simplest thing in the universe ever. "You could have spoken up. She would have traded you."

  "Oh, sure, and then everyone in the camp will tease me and never shut up about how I can't get enough of A'tam's dick, and can't I just make up my mind?" Even thinking about it makes me shudder. "They'll all laugh at me."

  "Who cares if they laugh when we are happy?"

  He makes it sound so easy. Like he doesn't have a gargantuan cock that he uses like a damn club. Like I’m not too small inside…but after talking with Raven, I’m not sure if that’s true. I clench my jaw and say nothing. What can I say that won't hurt his feelings? Even if I’m normal sized, even if I tell him that he's terrible at sex, it doesn't change the size of his dick. It's still far too large.

  Of course, I'm going to have to figure something out with that, because resonance has decided we're going to mate again, and soon. And I don't know what I'm going to do if he hurts me again. I don't know what I'm going to do if I'm supposed to just endure a lifetime of painful sex. Why am I the only one this happens to?

  As if he can read my thoughts, A'tam gazes down at me, thoughtful. "Why do you no longer want my touch?"

  I lick my lips, nervous. There's so much I want to tell him, but I don't feel like I can talk about it yet. I need the mediator that therapy will bring, because I know if I bring it up, it'll just be a fight. I don't know how to make A'tam listen to me without yelling at him, and I'm so damn tired of yelling. "It's…complicated. I'll tell you tomorrow, I promise."

  He stops, tugging my hand so I pause, too. "My little kaari, tomorrow seems very far away right now. What if I want to touch you tonight? What if I want to hold you? To kiss you?"

  I'm melting. I'm melting because I want all those things, too, and resonance is thrumming hard in my chest, letting me know that my khui is on board as well. Everything is on board except the most important part of my anatomy.

  And I'm…scared. I'm scared because if I give A'tam power over me, I'm afraid he'll hurt me. That's the core of this, isn't it? He hurt me during sex and was callous about it, and then he hurt me again when he threw it in my face and we argued about it a thousand times. I want him more than anything, but I'm so scared of setting myself up for a l
ifetime of hurt after hurt, just like my mother had.

  I look up at A'tam. He's utterly beautiful in the moonlight, his long hair brushing against his shoulders. His eyes glow in the darkness, but the look in them is warm and tender. His big body is tense, his tail flicking as if he wants to step toward me but doesn't trust himself not to do more than just approach. And his khui…hoo boy. His khui is singing so hard and so deep that it's practically turning me on just with its damn song.

  "It's…complicated," is all I say to him.

  "Then let us un-complicate it," A'tam says, and he makes it sound so very reasonable. He reaches up and brushes his knuckles along my cheek again, even as the sea breeze makes our leathers and our hair blow into a tangle around us. "You say I do not know how to be patient and wait for things. That I think I should get things because I have a good smile." He touches my cheek so, so gently. "This is me, not smiling. I am not mad because I am not getting things. I am asking this time. My little fierce kaari, I would like to spend tonight with my mate. We do not have to do anything…but I would not be A'tam if I did not suggest kisses." His mouth quirks up in one corner.

  I fight back a smile. That might be the first time he's ever truly asked me for anything instead of just demanding. "You want just kisses?" I ask, skeptical. "Because I know A'tam, and I know he does not take an inch when there might be a mile."

  "I do not know what those things are, but I understand your words," A'tam concedes. He trails his fingers through my hair, as if he can't bear to stop touching me, and his khui is so, so damn loud. "Because you know me well, I do not argue these things. If you are afraid of me taking too much, though, then I will let you be in control."

  26

  BRIDGET

  “What?" I stare up at A’tam in surprise.

  "This night, I have told you that I wish to spend it with you. How we spend this night is entirely your decision." He wraps his fingers in my hair and grabs a fist of it, as if fascinated by the tangle of strands against his skin. It's a small gesture and it should not be so damn sexy, but it is. Lord, it is. I imagine him holding my hair as he pins me down and—