Bridget's Bane: A SciFi Alien Romance Read online

  I grunt. Is that how B'shit feels, I wonder? Does she pull back from me because she is waiting to resonate? Is she afraid of losing her heart to me? The thought makes me warm. Does she want to be with me in the furs but she is afraid of losing me? It is hard to know with B'shit. Just when I think she will confess her feelings to me, she closes down. I wonder—

  D'see nudges me. "You're not very talkative."

  I grunt again.

  "Is all not well with Bridget? Should I go plant the seeds of jealousy?" D'see teases. "I can go complain that you kissed me so hard that it made me dizzy—"

  "No," I bark out, and she jerks back in surprise at the ferocity of my words. "Do not pretend we are kissing. Or sharing furs. I do not want B'shit to think that. It does not make her run into my arms. It only hurts her."

  D'see stares up at me in surprise. After a moment, she nods. "You're right. I was hoping it would push her into your arms but it doesn't seem to be having that effect." She gets to her feet. "I didn't realize it was bothering you so much, A'tam." Her hand goes to my shoulder, and then she strokes my mane. "But you seem stressed and unhappy."

  "I am." So unhappy. I just want B'shit and her smile, and it seems further away today than ever.

  D'see trails her fingers through my mane. Her touch is comforting, but…it is not B'shit. "I'll go talk to O'jek," she says softly. "See if I can sleep in his hut instead of yours. If you're not comfortable with pretending anymore, I totally get it."

  "My thanks," I tell her. If nothing else, perhaps I will sleep better in my own hut.

  D'see pats my shoulder and hops down off the rocks. I do not watch her go, bending over my task again. My thoughts turn to B'shit once more and I pick up the strands of my net.

  Someone clears their throat.

  I look to my side, and B'shit stands there, an odd expression on her face. I stare at her in surprise.

  "Is this a bad time?" B'shit asks, and there is a note of hurt in her voice.

  "Why would it be a bad time?" I indicate she should join me on the rocks, but my heart is pounding with excitement and anticipation. B'shit has decided to seek me out?

  She appears ready to bolt away. "You and Daisy looked…cozy."

  We did? She saw that? I think of D'see with her fingers in my mane and want to scream in frustration. Of course B'shit saw that. Such is my luck. "D'see has left. She was just comforting me and I was not good company to her." I gesture at the space next to me that she left. "But I would like it if you joined me."

  Her brows furrow a little. "Because you're not good company?"

  "Because I would like to be better company, and if you are with me, that will happen," I say simply.

  "Oh." She thinks for a moment and then climbs the rocks to come and sit by me. She is skittish tonight, I can tell. It is in the way she holds herself, as if she is ready to bolt at a loud sound like a wild dvisti. B'shit is silent as she stares out at the waves, and I do my best to concentrate on my nets. My fingers fumble with her nearness, though. She is so close to me that I can fill my senses with her enticing scent. Her long mane flutters against my arm, and my heart pounds with her nearness. I can feel her warmth, and I want to gather her in my arms. Instead, I try to make more knots for my net. Try, and fail.

  "What are we doing, the two of us?" B'shit asks softly.

  I look over at her, frowning. "I am…making a net?"

  "No, I mean…" She takes a deep breath and blows it out, frustrated. "Last night, in the cave. And the constant back and forth between you and me. It's just so confusing and hard." Her gaze locks onto me. "I need to know how you feel about me, A'tam. How you really, truly feel."

  It is a strange thing to ask. Have I not made it abundantly clear that I consider her my mate? "You know how I feel."

  B'shit shakes her head, frustration on her delicate features. "No, I need you to say it out loud. Don't assume I know what you're thinking. Tell me, right now, how you feel about me." Her eyes are bright in the twilight, her mouth tight, and she brims with tension. "Right now. As of today. Not how you felt when we first met, or when we hooked up. Right now, after everything we've been through."

  I give her a puzzled look. Why does she think it will have changed because we argue? "You have my heart and I wish for you to be my mate."

  Instead of relaxing, B'shit only seems even more tense. "And Daisy? You're going to break up with her to be with me? Because I'm not going to be a second wife or any bullshit like that. Either we do this right or not at all."

  I do not know if I should be excited that she speaks as if we are mated now—or worried that she still seems so tense. B'shit seems so brittle, as if a strong wind will snap her in two. "D'see is in my hut, but not in my furs."

  Her brows furrow. "But you said—"

  "I know what I said," I interject quickly. "D'see sleeps there to make you jealous. We have never shared kisses or furs. I sleep with O'jek." I pause and add, "Who I am also not sharing kisses or furs with."

  B'shit's mouth falls open. She does not laugh at my joke. "You were pretending in the hopes I'd get jealous?"

  "Yes. D'see thought it would make you fall into my arms."

  Her mouth snaps shut and she smacks my arm, angry. "That's a shitty move!"

  "I know. I am not pleased with it. I do not like to think I hurt you. I only thought of getting you to want me." I sigh, pushing the nets aside, because I cannot concentrate on them. "Everything I do is because I need you back, B'shit. I do not know why you do not want me like I want you, but I have not changed how I feel. If anything, I feel more strongly for you. Right now, with you at my side, my heart is racing in my chest." I take her hand in mine, half waiting for her to jerk it away. When she does not, I place her hand on my chest so she can feel just how much my heart races under her fingers. "It is like nothing I have felt before, and it is all because of you."

  B'shit does not pull away. Her hand remains on my chest, her brows furrowed. "Your heart is going really fast."

  "It is because of you—"

  "No, it's…weird." She jerks at her furs and puts her hand over her own heart, a strange expression on her face. "Touch me. Is mine as fast as yours? Or am I just having a panic attack of some kind?"

  I need no encouragement to touch her. I splay my hand at the base of her throat, and love the little whimper that escapes her. I can feel her heart pounding underneath my palm, fluttering so wildly it reminds me of a frantic bird, caught in a trap. I look up at B'shit to point this out…and am distracted by how bright her eyes are. Her lips are parted as she gazes at me, and I realize that she is sitting so close that I can pull her into my lap.

  So I do.

  B'shit makes a noise of protest but does not push me away. "A'tam—"

  I slide my hand to the back of her neck, tilting her face up to mine, and kiss her. She grabs onto the front of my tunic, and I think she will shove me…but her fingers curl into the front of my fur vest and she moans.

  "A'tam, wait," she pants, her voice sultry. "You—"

  Wild, naked heat surges through my body. Hungrily, I claim her mouth in a deeper kiss, my tongue dancing against hers. She feels so good against me, her body warm and soft and willing, her bottom pressed against my thighs. This is everything I have ever wanted—my B'shit in my embrace, eagerly leaning into my kisses. "Mine," I tell her between quick, frantic kisses as my heart pounds. "Say you are finally mine."

  "A'tam," she begins again, and the word is so enticing upon her lips that I kiss her again, clasping her against me.

  "My mate," I tell her, nibbling on her full lower lip. "Tell me you hate my mouth. Tell me you do not like it when I kiss you and I will stop." I nuzzle at her throat, where her pulse beats rapidly. "Tell me my touch does not feel good."

  She makes a frustrated sound, digging her hands into my mane. She's panting as she jerks my head back, away from her skin. "You're not paying attention, A'tam—listen!"

  "I am listening to you," I promise. My cock gets harder with every word
she speaks, every noise she makes. I wind my arms around her waist. "Say my name again. I like to hear it on your lips."

  Her hands move to my face, and she cups it, holding me back when I try to kiss her. "You are the most impossible man ever," she pants. "Be quiet and really listen."

  I pause, because her face is serious, her expression a mixture of arousal and concern both. So I do as she says. I go silent, waiting for her to speak, and devour her with my gaze alone. She is so beautiful, my B'shit, her dark hair tousled around her face, her skin flushed, her mouth pink and full from my kisses. Her pulse, throbbing so hard that I can hear it…

  …Wait.

  I stare at her, dumbfounded. My thoughts are clouded with lust, but not so clouded that I do not realize that the rapid pounding of my heart is louder than usual. At least, I think it is my heart. "Is that me? Or you?"

  "It's both of us," she cries, grabbing my hand and pressing it to her chest again. "We're resonating!"

  My hand is against her soft skin, and I can feel the song of her khui pulsing through her body. Mine grows louder by the moment, so strong that it feels as if my heart will leap out of my chest. "This is our answer," I tell her triumphantly. Now it does not matter what B'shit thinks—resonance has chosen for us. "You are mine, just as I have said."

  I wait for her to acknowledge this. To smile and fall into my arms with a happy sigh. This has solved all of our problems, she will realize soon, and she will give me her heart as well as her body. She…

  She takes one look at my ecstatic face and bursts into tears.

  I pat her back, confused. She burrows against my chest, hiding her face and sobbing against my throat. At first, I cannot think of anything but her nearness. The way she fits so perfectly against me. My khui sings and sings, telling me to drag her to my hut and claim her as my own. That this is the moment I have waited for, and I should not have to wait any longer. But when her weeping grows even louder, I stroke her back and try to comfort her, because I do not like the sound of her sadness. "B'shit, do not cry," I whisper to her. "I do not like that your first response to resonating with me is tears."

  "Yeah, well," B'shit sniffs and pulls away from me. "You think you smile and everything should fall into your lap."

  I laugh, squeezing her tight. "You are in my lap."

  Her face crumples and she just cries harder.

  I wipe at her tears, frustrated with them. "Tell me why this upsets you so. I have told you how I feel about you. I have told you that you have my heart. Now resonance has confirmed that we are to be together. Why does this make you weep?"

  "Because it's not that easy," B'shit says between hiccupping gulps of air. "There's a reason why we didn't work out the first time."

  "I still do not know what that reason is," I say to her. "You have never said and I cannot guess."

  She takes a deep breath and stares at the ground.

  That is still not an answer. I touch my fingers under her chin. "Is it so hard to say?"

  "It's what I wanted to talk to you about," B'shit says, finally looking up. "I'll talk about everything in therapy."

  I do not recognize this word. "There-hap-ee?"

  She grabs my hand and takes it between hers, squeezing. "It's a human thing. It means we talk with a neutral party and discuss the things that bother us so we can air them out in the open and move past them. We need to start over, you and me. And I think therapy is the best way to do it."

  "It is a…talking space?" I try to understand. "But we are talking now."

  "It's a talking space," she agrees, her eyes bright. "We talk and someone else is there with us. They help us discuss things without being mean to each other, so it won't turn into an argument. It's like…in the game." She lifts a hand briefly from mine and waves it at the beach. "Where Lauren was running things. She didn't play, because she needed to focus on keeping things running smoothly. That's kinda like this. You and I are in the game." She lifts our clasped hands. "We need someone to keep us on track. Steph is going to do it for us. She has experience in this sort of thing."

  What she says makes sense. We do argue far more than I would like, but I also do not think I am the one to blame for a lot of those arguments. B'shit gets upset and closes down, and then no amount of talking gets her to speak. "Why do we not just speak now? We are here alone. If you have something to say to me, I will listen."

  Her expression grows sad again. "I need this, A'tam. I'm not good at talking about things." She drops her gaze again. "I think it's a good idea and it would mean a lot to me if we could do it."

  B'shit looks so very sad again that I feel guilty for even questioning. I reach up and tweak a lock of her mane, tugging on it to get her attention. "If it means this much to you, I will do the talk space."

  It is the right thing to say. B'shit's face lights up and her eyes shine. Her hands tremble on mine. "You mean it?"

  I nod. "Do we start this night, then?"

  She shakes her head. "In the morning. I…I'm not ready tonight."

  I am more than ready. Resonance hums through me, sending waves of both pleasure and hunger through my body. Her scent envelops me, and it would not take much for me to reach out and pull her back into my lap, to settle her hips upon my cock. It is private enough here on the beach. No one would notice we were mating…and if they did, they would not care. I reach out with my free hand and brush my knuckles along her delicate jaw, unable to resist touching my mate. "What about tonight? Should we go tell the others we have resonated?"

  A look of alarm crosses her face. "No, not yet."

  My temper flares. "Why not yet? What is there to hide?" I flick at the opening to her tunic. "Are you going to tell them you are not resonating when it is obvious for all to see?"

  "Maybe I just don't want to talk about it?"

  "Yet another thing you do not wish to talk about," I snap back. "I am very familiar with this."

  B'shit releases my hand and gets to her feet. "You know what? I'm not doing this tonight. Remember what I said about how you think you can get whatever you want just because you smile and look pretty? Well, it's not going to work with me. You can stew in your own juices tonight. I'll talk to you tomorrow. In therapy."

  She glares at me so furiously it is almost comical. I scowl as she hops back down off the rock and storms back to the beach. I am irritated, but my khui hums in my chest, reminding me that no matter how angry B'shit gets, she will be mine. I rub the front of my tunic, thinking.

  B'shit said I think I can get what I want if I smile. That I do not like things that are difficult. In this, she is not wrong. I do like to get things easily. I do not like it when things do not go my way.

  I will prove her wrong, though. I will let her do as she wants tonight, just to show that I can wait. I keep rubbing my chest, watching as she skirts wide around the fire, ducking her head as she heads for the women's cave. She clutches the front of her tunic tight, as if she can somehow hide her khui's song.

  In the morning, we will do the talk space. Then, maybe, I will get some answers from my close-lipped mate.

  24

  BRIDGET

  I'm utterly rattled as I leave A'tam's side. Every time I turn around, things seem to be going from bad to worse. I should be thrilled that I resonated to the man of my choice, the man that I've been obsessed with since I got here. Except…now that we've resonated, I have to have sex with him. Before, it was a “possibly on the table once we work through our issues” situation.

  Now it's something that absolutely has to take place.

  Fuck.

  Something tells me he wouldn't be satisfied with a “just the tip” suggestion.

  I need to be reasonable. I'm sure the sex will be all right once we talk it out. I'm sure A'tam will agree to whatever I need. But my khui is throbbing so fiercely in my chest and sending my hormones skyrocketing. I'm having a hard time concentrating. Part of me wants to find A'tam and drag him somewhere private despite everything. The other part of me wants to run scre
aming into the hills.

  Why does everything have to be so damn difficult? I just want to go hide in my bunk for a while and work through my thoughts. I want to hide from all the good-intentioned people having a wonderful time around me. I can hear the threads of laughter coming from the group by the fire, and it doesn't sound like anyone's too keen on retiring early, even though it's getting cold. Good. I can have a little time to myself. Figure out what I'm going to do. Calm my khui down.

  When I get inside the sleeping cave I share with the other women, though, it's not empty. Flor is in there, chatting animatedly with Angie. Angie doesn't have her baby in her arms, which means her mate is taking care of little Glory. They both smile at me as I enter, but my body language makes it clear that I don't want company. I hunch over, clutching my tunic tight in the hopes that it'll somehow muffle my khui, and give them a wide berth, heading for my bunk.

  As each woman resonates, there's more room in the cave. Since it's down to just me, Sam, Flor and Steph, we've been joking about how much room we have to spread out now, especially since Tia is living at Croatoan and Daisy is staying with A'tam. My bunk is nearest to the door so I can sneak out to my pottery cave on the regular, but that also means that there's no quiet to be had while Flor and Angie are chatting. I drop down next to my pallet of furs, studying my small basket of clothes. I wonder if I should put on another layer of clothes. Maybe a second tunic would help muffle things. I put my hand to my chest, thinking, and stroke the exposed patch of skin at the throat of my tunic. I think about A'tam, and how he touched me there. How he just placed his big hand on my collarbone and it was so fucking sexy that it sent a whole cascade of dirty thoughts through my mind.

  Furious with myself, I yank out my back-up tunic and shove it over my head.

  "Bridge?"

  Before I can even shove my head out of the neckhole, Flor is there. I cringe inwardly, because there's no way to hide the constant drumbeat of my khui. It's so loud it feels as if a horse is galloping in my chest. I try anyhow, though. I finish pulling my second tunic over my body and offer her a wan smile. "W-what's up?"